Here's how you can help your partner improve their emotional intelligence

It is key to strengthening your relationship and building intimacy.

29 May, 2024
Here's how you can help your partner improve their emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence in a relationship is the glue that holds everything together. It helps you and your partner understand each other better, be more empathetic, and weather the storms together. But let's face it, not everyone's a natural when it comes to emotional intelligence. Some may need to put in some serious effort and get a hang of it over time. 

Emotional intelligence helps you and your partner communicate better. And focusing on it, will not only make you happier but also strengthen the relationship and your bond as a couple. 

Here are a few tips on how to improve the emotional intelligence of your partner. 

Self-reflection 


Encourage your partner to reflect on their emotions, thoughts, and reactions. Help them understand the reason behind their feelings and behaviours with open-ended questions like, "What do you think triggered that reaction?" or "How do you feel about that situation?" This will help them open up and understand their feelings, learning to work on them over time.

Promote active listening

When your partner talks to you, give them your full attention and really listen to them. Active listening is a two-way street, so encourage them to do the same for you. In between, reflect on what they're saying to show that you understand and validate their feelings. Eventually, they too will learn to do the same for you. 

Provide constructive feedback

Offer gentle and constructive feedback when necessary. Focus on their behaviour rather than criticising their emotions. For example, instead of saying, "You're overreacting," try saying, "I noticed you seemed pretty upset when this happened. Is something bothering you?". This way they feel more comfortable talking about their problems instead of just shutting themselves. 

Practice empathy


Encourage your partner to see things from other people's perspectives, considering their thoughts and feelings. Discuss real-life situations where empathy made a difference and encourage them to picture themselves in another's shoes. This practice will aid in empathising with you and instead of fighting, they'll start to get where you're coming from.

Support growth mindset

Remind your partner that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed over time with effort and practice. Help them see that setbacks are still opportunities for learning and growth rather than mere failures. Being hard on them won't help, so be patient and support them through their ups and downs. 

Create safe spaces for expression 

Create a safe space where your partner knows they can open up to you without the fear of criticism or rejection. Let them know that it's okay to feel vulnerable and that you're there to support them. All you have to do is sit back and listen to them patiently and reassure them that they can trust you with their thoughts and emotions.

Celebrate progress


Acknowledge and celebrate your partner's progress in developing their emotional intelligence. Reinforce positive behaviours and give them a boost of confidence to motivate them to continue growing. 

Lead image credit: Netflix

Also read: Find intelligence arousing? 6 signs you might be a sapiosexual

Also read: How not to let your first date turn into an interview

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