5 pairs of besties who found their soulmates in each other

A diet of romantic comedies, Harlequin romances, and glib twists on Brothers Grimm’s fairy tales in our growing years led us all to believe soulmates come in one shape and form. But sometimes, our true loves are the sisters we choose; the ones who get us through the formative years of our lives (and then the adult ones). These are the friendships that pull through, navigating changes in who we are, in the phases of our lives. They keep us moored through success and failure alike. But they are also hard work, tested by time, difficulty, and distance. They take commitment and communication; just like a romantic partnership. And they, too, can turn your whole world upside down when they fall apart. In this story, we celebrate the ones who made it through—in sickness and in health, from being neighbours to being continents apart. The women in this story found their soulmate and made it work; talking through the big fights, sharing the wins, and showing up for each other. They may have (or previously had) romantic partners they love deeply, but it doesn’t change the fact that each of them found their big love in each other just as much…

Chef Amninder Sandhu and software executive Amrita Naik

 

It was love at first sight when Amninder walked into a Peddar Road PG on her first day in Mumbai and met Amrita. “It was July 18, 1997. I had just come in from Jorhat, Assam to study at Sophia College, and Kuki [Amrita] was the first person I met!” Amninder smiles. “I don’t think we imagined at the time that this friendship would last a lifetime!” Amrita admits. “But I felt an instant connection with this funny, intelligent, and interesting girl with an infectious smile. I still adore her the way I did back then.”

Amninder can’t fathom getting her footing in Mumbai without Amrita. “College and hostel life was exciting because of Kuki. She often said, ‘I’ll show you Bombay [Mumbai]’, and she kept her word; I began to know Bombay better; how to get around, where to get things— even more than the locals in my class!” She adds that it wasn’t just the good times they got through together. “Kuki also stood by me through a very low phase in my personal life. She would always listen without judgment— and we could laugh at the hard stuff together. She really helped me through it.” Funnily enough, Amrita thinks the same. “Things were a bit tough for me when we were in that PG together. She took care of me, and went out of her way to lift my spirits and cheer me up.” 

Their lives are inextricably linked—families, friends, etc. “Back in the day, Amninder’s older sister used to call us ‘gundies’ and trusted me to look out for her. Her dad would only let her travel if I was accompanying her. 

That is the kind of bond I have with her family. When she visited me in Baroda, she would spend time with my grandparents and parents while I went out partying.” 

When Amrita looks at Amninder’s success now, she feels nothing but joy. “I wish I had the determination to pursue my dreams and push myself like she had. She’s made it to the top on her own. Her success feels like a personal achievement to me as well.” And Amninder feels just as much pride. “There is no room for ego in our friendship. Kuki is extraordinary; organised and methodical, with an elephant’s memory about dates and events. I wish I had that. Twenty-seven years ago, I thought Kuki was an extremely independent, confident, fully sorted girl. I still feel exactly the same way!”

Illustrator Srishti Gupta Roy and advertising professional Deborima Ganguly

 

Srishti met her ride-or-die when they were four, but only “really got close at 14,” she says. “I don’t remember having any particular impression of her as a child. We started hanging out when we were in eighth standard,” Srishti laughs. Cut to two decades later, and the two have the kind of friendship that has weathered myriad storms and soft fights. “We have a balance of things we have in common vs things that make us different,” Deborima says. “We both love dancing to Bollywood music when we’re drunk, we laugh at the same jokes, and we hate voice notes. But, for instance, I like to stay in while she prefers to go out. We are on the same wavelength, but our differences help us both step out of our comfort zone from time to time.” Those differences can get tricky in a long-running friendship though, Srishti admits. 

“We’ve had differences in opinions over the years more than fights—maybe disappointment with each other? But our relationship is incredibly elastic, it springs back without apologising. I think when you grow up together, the dynamic is family-esque.” Deborima reminisces fondly about the female ritual of sleepovers that was lost when they moved cities. “I would be at her house every other week for sleepovers. Aunty and uncle [Srishti’s parents] are always been warm and inviting, even now, though I don’t get to meet them as often.” 

The friendship was cemented for Deborima by “the after-school phone calls; on our landlines! We would discuss nothing and everything, from our homework to our celeb crushes—and all after we had spent eight hours in school together,” she grins. For Srishti, college was the turning point for them, given how easy it is to slough off old friendships into a new life phase. “After school, I did lose touch with a lot of friends. I moved to college in a different city. I realised after school I still felt that ease, despite our lives being so disparate from each other’s. We’ve consistently lived in different cities from the age of 18 and up, so the time we physically spend with each other is extremely limited. Right now, we are on two different continents and haven’t met in two years! But the strange thing is I can call her right now and pick up where we left off without any hesitation.” 

When they do meet, they default to the one ritual they’ll have till the dying day. “Sleepovers!” Srishti exclaims. “We will eventually be 65-year-old women in pyjamas, singing Avril Lavigne, having one too many drinks. We started our sleepovers at 14 and still do them in our 30s, whenever we’re in the same city; and always will.”

Actors Shibani Akhtar and Rhea Chakraborty

 

At 17, a young Rhea—an aspiring MTV Miss Teen Diva, as Shibani recalls it—was brought to the Dandekar home by Anusha Dandekar, Shibani’s sister. “They were working together at the time, and Anusha brought her home one day,” Shibani smiles. “I thought she was young, full of energy—and so annoying!” she laughs. “I thought Shibani and her sisters were so cool—they were well-dressed, they lived these fun, independent lives,” Rhea remembers. But Shibani was giving me this cold vibe, because she thought I was irritating. And I guess I was. You know, she didn’t even call me by my name until I turned 18? She would just call me 17,” she chuckles. 

But that impression changed quickly, and the two found a fast sisterhood in each other. “She was like a fourth sibling immediately—crashing at my house, borrowing my clothes (and getting yelled at to give them back). We had an age gap [14 years], which brought out an older sister energy in me,” says Shibani, one Rhea also found warmly protective. “Shibani’s seen me as a teenager to my early thirties, right now. And I have seen her from her late twenties to her early forties. I get this incredibly protective older sister side of her that is also vulnerable and honest, and I can’t even begin to explain how her support has got me through my darkest days.” 

Shibani feels it’s the big things that truly test a friendship, and “Rhea went through something so massive, so heartbreaking. No one in the world should have to go through that. It solidified our relationship a hundredfold. It was the biggest moment that made us realise we are facing adult things—real problems in the real world—and it would bond us forever.” Rhea can’t fathom making it through the big (and small) things without her. “She’s been part of everything—from dressing me up for my first date when I was 18 to being part of my first movie screening. Even in my hardest moments, she would show up without ever making me feel like she was doing anything for me. She’ll never make me feel like I’m going through something earth-shattering; she’s just her normal self, pulling my leg, making jokes. Having her around feels like home.” 

They are each other’s homes in more ways than one. “This is well beyond a friendship. She is my family,” Shibani states, matter of factly. “I have an incredible relationship with her parents. Her brother is my brother, my sisters are her sisters. My parents treat her like family.” Rhea notes that it is interesting how differently they were raised, but how seamlessly they fit in each other’s worlds. “I was an army kid with a desi upbringing, growing up in small towns of India. She grew up in Australia, and lived in London and New York. But somehow, our core values are the same—our priorities, the way we love people, loyalty...” 
Sameness is a big part of what keeps them together. “I just know that she gets me, and that makes this a really safe and important relationship for me. She knows exactly how to deal with me, and I know exactly how to deal with her—we know how to handle each other. I think, because of that, we don’t really get in each other’s way. We just know how to show up and be there,” Shibani says. 

Busy as their lives might be, they carve out their quality time. “We try to do a Sunday lunch once a month,” Rhea shares. “We have a little group with Gaurav Kapoor, Shibani, and I and sometimes Anusha and Showik [Rhea’s brother] will also join. We call it the ‘Ladies Lunch’, and we make fun of each other constantly.” For Shibani, it is time on Rhea’s couch with her family that she’s learned to value the most. “After overcoming something, and in these happier times, it’s important to get together and appreciate where we are and what we have.”

Content creators Aashna Shroff and Riya Jain 

 

Who would’ve thunk a rivalry in third grade over the attention of another friend would result in a 15-year-long friendship? “We met when we were seven—and we are vying to both be closer to the same friend at the time,” Riya laughs. “We weren’t fond of each other then,” Aashna muses. “And look at us...We’re inseparable now.” 

A classic example of opposites attract, neither can quite emphasise just how different they are. “We are total opposites—she’s the introvert, I’m the extrovert, and somehow, we’re the perfect balance. We’re each other’s social yin and yang,” Riya says. Aashna can attest to that, with one caveat. “I am a homebody, and she loves going out; but we keep each other sane. We are both empathetic, however, and have similar world views. It is also why we work well together.” The contrast also creates room for aspects of each other’s personalities they wish they had. “Riya has this positive energy that is contagious. She is always excited and ready to go. It isn’t easy to be that way, every single day, without showing the world what you’re dealing with. It is admirable,” Aashna says. To Rhea, it’s Aashna’s tenacity that is incredible. “When she sets her mind on something, it is done. No matter how chaotic life gets, she somehow manages it all like it is no big deal. I love that about her!” 

The two content creators haven’t always had a picture-perfect friendship; but no true friendship is. “There was this one epic fight where we hit pause; friendships can need breaks just like relationships do. We spent a year doing our own thing, but, of course, we found our way back to each other,” says Riya. “Ufff, that was a massive fight; Riya calls it ‘our little break’,” Aashna grins. “It took a little warming up, but we came back stronger. The time apart actually helped!” 

And since then, their time apart has been at a minimum; literally. “We live a 30-second walk away from each other since I moved, so we are even closer now!” Aashna says. “And our families literally consider each other family, if that makes sense! Our moms are super-tight and love accompanying us on trips, because they get a little holiday of their own.” When they are not a stone’s throw away, they are a phone call away. “We never go more than two to three days without catching up,” Riya says. “It is an unspoken rule. We always keep each other in the loop.”

Sustainability content creator Sanjana Rishi and sales professional Rangana Kotwal 

 

Despite them both being ‘well-dressed extroverts’, sustainability fashion content creator Sanjana and her best friend Rangana would always rather catch up under a blanket, bingeing a show “while fighting over who picks up the delivery food from the front door”. In a 20-year-long friendship (“wow, does that age us?” Sanjana asks), the two have got through their adolescence, big break-ups, big moves, and new jobs. “In grade 12, I got pneumonia, and Sanjana spent her vacation by my bedside, reading to me and just hanging out. She could have been doing a hundred other things, so it truly made me feel like she wanted to just hang with me and my family,” Rangana reminisces fondly. Right now, as they answer the questions together on a weekend getaway, they are making up for that vacation in style. 

Their meet-cute was courtesy their friend Shivanee (“who’s here with us by the way, but that’s another story”). “I just thought Rangana was so pretty and so hot and so cool, and that she’d obviously never want to be my friend,” Sanjana says. “I was a really insecure and identity-confused little kid who had just moved to Delhi from the American suburbia (where I was relentlessly bullied for being different). Meanwhile, Rangana was this confident, cool, popular girl. I don’t think my view on that has changed at all, actually.” Rangana’s opinion of her? That’s changed just a skosh. “I thought Sanjana was Shivanee’s super-American friend, who thought she was too cool for Delhi. That idea changed dramatically—Sanjana was actually the most Indian of our friends, plucked away from her home too soon. She’s also...not that cool.” 

As idyllic as their time together might look on the grid, they are both upfront about the work that goes into a long-term, long-distance friendship with this level of intimacy. “We fight a lot, like sisters. We’ve honestly said the most savage things to each other in our heated moments—but that has (shockingly) never put any real strain on our relationship. The things that have strained it is generally one of us not understanding the intricacies of how the other and their life has changed, the distance between us, or one of us (mostly Sanjana) not being in touch, and therefore missing out on the important life developments. The way back from real strain takes more work than an apology; trust is hard to rebuild. But I think we are pretty good at openly communicating with each other through tough moments (when we are ready to suspend the silent treatment). 

They aren’t just like family to one another; they even helped each other find theirs. “I was basically adopted by Rangana’s family when I was younger. They have treated me like one of them for decades. I also am proud to admit that I helped Rangana and her partner Nick get together—he’s just the best guy and we are very very close,” Sanjana says. 

But one of the biggest components of their friendships is being proud of each other. “Rangana is a natural. Everything she tries she is just...good at it. I admire and envy that.” Rangana just wishes she could get some of Sanjana’s unflappability. “I really admire that doesn’t let things rattle her, really. She always says ‘I’ll figure it out’ and then...figures it out. I wish I could go through life like that!”

Lead: Getty Images

Inside images: Respective individuals

Also read: 5 books on female friendships that will make you cry love tears