Here’s how to role-play with your partner like a pro

Sex goes beyond the physical aspects of it. In fact, it's a lot about your mind. We tend to temporarily lose ourselves in the process, forgetting everything around us with the focus being only on the moment and the person. Or at least, that's how you have a better chance at big Os! Enter the world of role-play, a fun and sexy way where you act on your fantasies. It involves two (or more) consenting partners enacting the roles of different characters in an imaginary scenario (think boss-secretary, teacher-student, plumber-customer, masseuse-client). From the simple to the complex that sees you dress up, do it at a location, or sex up your favourite scene from a show or movie, the options are endless. 

Think and talk it out before you begin

Sex is all about communication and being on the same page with your partner. This is why, a discussion with them about role-play and talking about your fantasies, expectations and boundaries is very necessary. The first step is to think about what turns you on. This is where your dirty thoughts come to the fore. If you’re shy, starting by completing the ‘I can’t stop fantasising about’ is the best way to start. What takes place next is you talking to each other about how things are going to be—place, any costumes, form of BDSM, etc. Figure out what would be a situation that’s all things sexual and fun for the both of you. This involves setting ground rules and talking about your boundaries for there certainly are things you aren’t comfortable doing. Don’t forget to choose a safe word that can be used to end the scene immediately.

It’s good if the partner gets a heads-up before you two get head. 

What makes role-play so popular: The power-dynamic

No matter what the characters you choose, the one thing constant is that one person will have some kind of authority over the other. For example, teacher-student, doctor-patient. These imbalanced power dynamics are very hot. We get the power we don’t have access to in our daily lives, or give it away when we need to. If you’re a boss or a leader at work, you might love it when you’re the obedient one when it comes to role-play. 

The many characters that you can play

It’s time to explore your kinks and engage in a host of role-playing scenarios. It’s time to get hot in your head and on the bed. One of you can be a pizza delivery person bringing food to the other’s home. Another similar scenario is one of you acting like a repair person sent to fix something. You could implement power and authoritative figures into the equation by enacting a doctor-patient, police-culprit, or teacher-student relationship. You could also be a flight attendant and passenger (use the kitchen counter, a seat) and have your sexy version of the mile-high club or do role-play where one of you acts like a masseuse (even better if one of you can give a soothing massage). You can use costumes or toys to help you get into character.

During and after role-play

Communication is key, even more so when you and your partner aren’t yourself when you’re role-playing. So it’s always good to tell them if you’re enjoying or not enjoying what’s happening. And don’t just end things when things end. Talk to them about the experience when you cuddle, areas of improvement and the new things that you’d like to try the next time. 

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Is it cool to fantasize about someone else during sex?

Also read: Sex positions to get down and dirty on a desk, table, or kitchen counter