Your guide to having a relaxing day of sex with your partner

We live in a chaotic world—from endless task lists and tight deadlines to juggling a hundred various responsibilities, we are barely left with any time for ourselves or our partners. And fitting sex into this equation just feels like a chore, but that’s not what it’s supposed to be. Sex is supposed to be exciting, relaxing and pleasurable; an activity to look forward to at the end of a long day. But alas, there is no energy left for it to be any of these things. And that is exactly why it is important to set aside one day every week for just you and your partner to enjoy each other without distractions (physically and mentally). 

There is nothing better or more enjoyable than having a relaxing day of sex with your partner. Whether you’ll lock yourselves in your bedroom (with a stack of food and drinks, of course) or check into a hotel, just being in that bubble of hot and passionate sex followed by endless cuddles and pillow talk is enough to recharge you. 

If you don’t know where to start, we’ve curated a guide to how you can have a relaxing day of sex with your partner!

Set the mood  

So what if it’s daytime? Setting the mood doesn’t only include lighting candles and playing sexy time music (you could though, who is going to stop you?). It also means just cleaning up the house, finishing all your work and other chores a day early and just freeing yourself of all things that would nag at you. This way, you can be present and enjoy your partner the way you want. Do keep in mind though that this requires you and your partner to plan your relaxing day of sex slightly in advance.  

Mindful sex is key  

If you’ve had a long week and just want some time with your partner to unwind and let your hair (and panties *wink wink*) down, mindful sex is the way to go. Basically, it’s when you tune out from the white noise in your head and just be fully present in the moment. This allows you to feel every touch, every kiss, and every sensation of pleasure. So, take three deep breaths and direct all your love and attention to your partner. 

If you aren’t sure how to do this because, let’s face it, it’s not so easy to curb those flowing thoughts, you could dabble in some sense play. It’s not some ‘red room’ BDSM technique, just focus on whatever sense is easiest for you. For instance, if it’s touch, close your eyes and just enjoy the sensation of your partner's hands on your body. You could also talk to them about including props like ice cubes in your sexcapades to take up a notch!

Go slow  

Despite what we’ve learned through movies and our own experiences, sex doesn’t have to be fast and furious. Orgasms are a bonus, not the goal. A lot of the time, the slower the better. It’s when you go slow that you get to really connect with them and build sexual intimacy. Spend as much time as you possibly can on the foreplay. Re-learn everything you know about your partner’s body, and when you’ll do reach the final act, build up your speed rather than going from 0 to 100 in three seconds. This way you’ll get to savour each other and fully enjoy the moment’s intimate festivities.  

Stick to intimate positions 

If the goal is to have a relaxing day of sex, you don’t want to try out positions that require you to be a contortionist. Unless you’re as bendy as Pheobe Buffay. Those might be exciting and experimental, but they aren’t exactly relaxing. Positions like lotus, pretzel, missionary or the ultimate relaxing position, spooning, are the way to go. These require minimum effort but are still extremely intimate.