What to do if both partners have different frequencies of a digital profile?

Couples that are on different wavelengths often face challenges because of their partners' different preferences. In the digital world, differences in social media habits and the way one communicates and consumes content can lead to arguments and misunderstandings in a relationship. This is why it is important for couples to have open and honest communication, draw healthy boundaries, and meet each other halfway so that both members feel heard and respected when it comes to the online world. 

So if you feel like you and your partner have different frequencies in your digital profiles, here are a few healthy ways to sort things out. 

Have open communication

It can be disrespectful for your partner to be on their phone when you’re talking to them, but they could be checking something important and urgent. The only way to know is to talk about it. Discuss your digital habits and preferences with your partner without judgment. Talk about how and why you engage with digital platforms in different ways, how often you’re on social media, what you like, and how you communicate online. Talking about this can help your partner understand where you’re coming from. But whatever you do, do not get into a blame game. Use “I” statements instead of “you” to avoid the blame game.

Set healthy boundaries

Both partners must establish ground rules that respect each other’s comfort levels. A way to get started here is to decide if and when it’s okay to check phones when together, during meals, or on dates. Talk about which platforms you both find acceptable. For example, if one partner loves TikTok and the other doesn’t, agree to limit its use during shared time. If certain boundaries don’t work, get back to the renegotiating table. Everything changes and evolves, and so will your digital dynamics.

Find common ground and shared interests

Even if your digital habits differ, you both are likely to have something in common. Talk about your shared interests when it comes to the digital world and social media. This could include watching the same shows, playing games together, etc. That said, take the time out to experience and explore new things together beyond your shared interests.

Balancing digital experiences alone and when together

Make time for joint digital activities while also allowing for individual preferences. This can help maintain both connection and personal space. This balance helps maintain a healthy sense of autonomy while fostering closeness. 

Check in regularly with your partner

Schedule periodic discussions to reflect on how each partner feels about the digital dynamics in your relationship. This will allow you to address any concerns that may arise and manage/adjust your boundaries or activities as needed. Set a time—weekly or monthly to discuss how your digital habits are affecting the relationship. This can help identify issues and prevent them before they become bigger. 

Ultimately, finding a balance that works for both partners can strengthen your relationship. By taking these steps, couples can navigate their differing digital profiles with greater understanding and connection, ultimately strengthening their relationship.

Lead image credit: Netflix

Also read: Why do we soft-launch our partners on social media but hard-delete them after a breakup?

Also read: Why it hurts when your partner doesn’t post you on their social media—and what to do about it