How do some women find Ted Bundy and Joe Goldberg attractive?

It could be Hybristophilia!

By Shama Nimkar
31 July, 2023
How do some women find Ted Bundy and Joe Goldberg attractive?

Whether it is watching Netflix’s mass-binged psychological thriller, You, or the docuseries on real-life serial killer, Ted Bundy, once you start consuming crime-related content, there’s no going back; you just want more! There’s a certain thrill attached to watching convoluted minds plot murder and escape, isn’t there?

“Definitely, but it’s much more than that,” says Kiran Makhijani, a Mumbai-based psychologist. “People are naturally curious about unusual things. It’s called morbid curiosity. Crime-related content, true crime stories especially, can satisfy this curiosity by providing insight into the minds of criminals and the often-grisly details of their crimes. By consuming such content, people may feel more prepared and empowered to protect themselves and their loved ones,” she continues.

Anuja Kapur, India’s leading criminologist and member of the Victim Society of Asia and World Society of Victimology also highlights people’s need to escape from their mundane reality. “Consuming thrillers becomes the much-needed dose of adrenaline, lacking in their lives.”

“The never-ending cycle of stressful jobs and responsibilities makes this genre the answer to satisfying their need for excitement. Crime stories often involve suspense, drama, and high stakes, which can be thrilling to watch or read about,” adds Makhijani. 

Where the lines begin to get blurry

In the process of consuming intriguing content, have the masses begun to empathise with sociopaths and justify their monstrosity? Let’s delve deeper into this by looking at Netflix’s popular releases: Dahmer–Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story and Penn Badly-starrer You

You follows the life of Joe Goldberg, a self-declared romantic-turned-murderer. And surprisingly, female viewers are commiserating Joe’s lovelorn acts of murder and deeming him an ideal boyfriend. There are endless threads on the internet, reasoning with his behaviour; some suggesting character growth towards the final season. 

How it gets worse

You

While it's not out of the ordinary to enjoy watching psychological thrillers, the unfathomable obsession with its twisted characters is the problem. Are some people forgetting the difference between an actor’s act and a criminal’s crime? “The lines between the actor and character have begun to get blurry,” opines Kapur. 

The spine-chilling case of Shaye Groves, the woman who was obsessed with serial killers and slit her boyfriend Frankie Fitzgerald's throat before stabbing him in his chest 17 times, speaks volumes of how dysfunctional the human mind can get if an obsession goes unchecked. 

It doesn’t stop here. The internet’s most problematic personality, Andrew Tate, known for his misogynist and regressive views on women, surprisingly boasts a rather vocal female fanbase. Makes you think about where the world is headed, eh?

Attraction or a dangerous condition?

Dahmer

For the uninitiated, Hybristophilia is the phenomenon of an individual being sexually aroused by a criminal or is instantly attracted towards murderers and sexual offenders. However, it is important to note that not all individuals who are attracted to criminals have this disorder.

The best example of this would be the sickening and ego-boosting fan following enjoyed by the infamous Ted Bundy, who terrorised America with heinous acts of rape and crimes against young women through the 1970s. Despite this, women were seen swarming the courtroom just to get one glimpse of him, which brings us to the important question: can being exposed to excessively disturbing content influence individuals negatively and perpetrate them to behave immorally, to the point where they can’t tell right from wrong? 

“No. A person in the right state of mind is not so easily impressionable. Bundy was undoubtedly charming, and that’s why many innocent women fell for his vile acts, right?” questions Kapur.

“On the other hand, individuals with Hybristophilia may experience intense sexual arousal or gratification from being in a relationship with a criminal, and some may even seek out or pursue relationships with known criminals. This can be a dangerous condition as it may lead to individuals putting themselves in harm's way to be close to the object of their attraction,” Makhijani explains.

Throwing further light on this disorder, Kapur emphasises the desire for power, control, excitement, and danger. “It may also be linked to a history of abuse or trauma, resulting in low self-esteem, and subjugating oneself to physical dominance and violence.”

Nonetheless, the question remains: how can someone be so blinded to the atrocities committed by an individual?

“Individuals with Hybristophilia are not necessarily blind to the atrocities committed by the criminals they are attracted to. Instead, their sexual attraction may overpower their rational thoughts and judgment. It is also possible for some individuals with Hybristophilia to justify somebody else’s criminal behaviour, as a way of coping with their own desires.”

Consume content mindfully 

You

Does bringing criminal convicts into the limelight have larger implications than merely being consumed as informative pieces of entertainment?

Shaivi Srivastava, a Mumbai-based psychologist states, “True crime media essentially deals with the appropriation of someone else’s real-life story. It needs to be as close to the truth as possible, not only for the sake of the victims and others personally affected by the movie but to keep in mind the legal and social ramifications of their portrayal.”

She also stresses the importance of tone. “It needs to be ethical. Often, a narrative is painted where the crimes of the perpetrator are excused, diminished or justified. Empathy building is an important tool, where the writer would want you to connect and relate with the characters in the film, even the perpetrator. For example, the movie, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile focuses on Ted Bundy within the context of a loving, romantic relationship with his girlfriend. The duality in the writing of this film, where on one hand we know him to be a psychopath serial killer, whilst viewing him as a “good” human being is meant to confuse the audience.”

And since factual discrepancies are more common than you think, movies and TV shows cannot be considered accountable sources of information as every individual’s perception and takeaways from the story are different. “Nobody is crossing a moral boundary by treating crime-related content as sheer entertainment,” opines Kapur.

“Nonetheless, viewers should be critical of the content they are consuming and ask questions about the messages it is conveying. Does the content perpetuate harmful stereotypes or biases? Does it provide a balanced perspective on the issues at hand? By engaging in critical thinking, you can avoid sensationalising or glorifying criminal behaviour,” Makhijani says. 

“Use the information you learn from crime-related content to take positive action in your own life. This may involve taking steps like volunteering with organisations that support victims of crime or advocating for policy changes that promote justice and safety for all. By taking action, you can channel your energy in a more productive manner,” she concludes. 

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