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You may be in a loving and committed relationship where things are steady, but did you ever stop and wonder if you and your partner have fallen into the trap of stagnation? You may have been together for a long time, but do you feel like neither of you has grown? If the answer is yes, then believe us, this isn't a good place to be as it can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. What we mean by growth here is making a conscious decision to improve yourself, supporting your partner's growth, and evolving as a couple.
It’s time to create a better version of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Here are a few simple steps.
Have a life outside the relationship
As you build a life and future with your partner, remember not to lose yourself in the process and forget who you are without them. Remember that before you are someone’s partner, you belong to yourself. Your partner won't always be able to make you happy, so it's essential to take time for yourself, pursue your goals and hobbies, and spend time with your friends and family. Communicating your need for alone time is important and healthy for your relationship. You should never feel sorry or guilty about it.
Encourage each other to try out new stuff
Change can be uncomfortable. Those in a relationship need to be prepared for them and their loved ones to change and grow over time. This is where both partners communicate and encourage each other to try new things and strive to be the best version of themselves. Last but not least, it is crucial for partners to celebrate and support each other when they observe their progress and accomplishments.
Appreciate what they bring to the relationship
It takes a lot to keep a relationship going, and a simple act of gratitude can go a long way in showing your partner that you’re in it for all the right reasons. Your love language may differ from your partner’s, but finding a balance in your attachment styles can help both of you grow. Additionally, focusing on the positive aspects can help set the foundation for potential growth. Acknowledge your strengths and your partner’s actions, and recognise how the two of you work great when together. Let your partner know that you appreciate their efforts in making things work.
Remember to have shared interests and goals too
Teamwork makes the dream work. Doing things together and achieving them is a great way to grow side by side. Working together fosters better communication skills that are helpful for hard conversations to take place later. Supporting each other and discussing personal and professional aspirations helps both partners be mutually accountable for each other’s success and gives the relationship more purpose.
Have constant check-ins with your partner
Consistent communication is key to growth in a relationship. This is where you discuss everything under the sun—the good, the bad, and the ugly. You could use this time to address issues that have been brushed under the carpet or talk about how you can both work towards improving the relationship. You can also talk about your personal goals and how you’re feeling. Conversations like these, where you’re actively listening and being honest and vulnerable with each other is just the safe space you need.
Don’t compete with each other
Your partner should be your cheerleader, not your competitor. Stop comparing your life with theirs as doing so would imply that you're not accepting yourself, or them for that matter. While arguments are bound to happen in a relationship, it’s important to realise that you're a team that is working together to solve the problem, not trying to prove who's right. This is where couples must learn to let go of their egos and compromise with each other to resolve matters.
All images: Netflix
Also read: Here’s why active listening is key to a good relationship
Also read: How to build emotional intimacy with your partner