How my breakup gave me a sense of clarity

Heartbreaks are hardly a walk in the park. The pain can be truly agonising. So when I had my heart broken, I handled it as well as you could imagine. There was a mix of emotional turmoil and physical ache, topped with existential crisis. What was I supposed to do? Should I have taken the advice of that hot priest from Fleabag? You know the famous, “It’ll pass.” 

But it didn’t pass. Instead, it felt like I was stuck in some twisted time loop, where I kept going over every tiny detail over and over again. But it did pass after a while. And all of a sudden, it was like a lightbulb had switched on. I saw things more clearly. Maybe it was just my brain finally catching up. Or maybe this was just another lesson to be learnt. Because isn’t that what breakups are all about? Learning more about yourself and your life in general. Here’s everything my breakup taught me

Main character energy only

You’re the main character in your own story, not someone you once loved. I’ve dealt with my fair share of issues and that includes codependence. When I stopped daydreaming about someone else, I found my way back to myself. It took time, but I began to recognise my own mistakes, my attachment styles, and patterns I’d overlooked before. I rediscovered parts of myself that were buried beneath the weight of the relationship. You hold the key to your own life, so make yourself a priority and keep your dreams front and centre.

There is strength in forgiveness

Understanding that forgiveness strengthens the heart is crucial. It’s not always easy to put into practice, but actively releasing the baggage that weighs you down is empowering. In my experience, holding onto grudges only intensified the pain, hindering one’s ability to move forward. Forgiving yourself and others is an essential part of growing. Focus on what you’ve gained despite the heartbreak. I’m grateful for the person I’ve become, and it’s because I chose to forgive myself. Mistakes are a natural part of being human; they offer valuable lessons. We must learn from them without dwelling on regret.

Leave the victim behind

Playing the victim card can stunt your personal growth and damage your relationships. I remember spending too much time feeling sorry for myself, hoping someone would swoop in and fix everything. But no one did. The longer you sit around dwelling on how things should’ve gone down, the more you drag yourself through the mud. But here’s the truth: nobody owes you anything. It’s on you to take the reins and start making positive changes. Once you switch gears from feeling like a victim to feeling empowered, that’s when you break free from the rut. Remember, your happiness and success are in your hands. It’s all about owning your life and taking charge.

Eat pray love

Life offers more than just romantic love. It’s important to prioritise yourself and give yourself the love and attention you deserve, especially after heartbreak. Taking care of your own needs helps you embrace solitude. Use your alone time to do things that uplift you, whether it’s exploring new places or indulging in your favourite food. You deserve happiness, and the key is to find ways to create that happiness for yourself.

By taking charge of your own happiness, you pave the way for a fulfilling and authentic life. Losing someone you believed was ‘the one’ may sting, but it’s crucial to recognise that they weren’t meant to be. Don’t be afraid of starting anew and embracing fresh beginnings. Though the present may be tough, remember that every experience contributes to your growth. Eventually, you’ll see that everything happens for a reason, shaping you into a stronger individual.

Lead image credit: Netflix 

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