Would you be jealous if your boyfriend has a girl bestie?

It was only after I got into a relationship that I realised just how territorial I can be. Yes, I said territorial, not jealous. You see, jealousy is about insecurity while being territorial is about protecting what's yours. So obviously, dealing with my boyfriend's "girl bestie" wasn't a cakewalk for me. I mean, why does he even need one when he has me? At the end of the day, it's all about prioritising one and setting boundaries with the other. Here’s how you can navigate this tricky situation with ease and without harming your relationship.

Understanding the friendship

First off, I had to understand the dynamics of their friendship. Were they childhood friends? Did they bond over shared interests and/or experiences? Knowing these details helped me see their relationship for what it was—a deep-rooted platonic bond. It’s essential to get this perspective to alleviate any initial insecurities.

Trust: The foundation of all relationships

Trust became my mantra. If my boyfriend had a female best friend, I had to trust him and the integrity of their friendship. We had some candid conversations about my feelings, and he shared his perspective openly. This honest communication strengthened our relationship and built a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Setting boundaries

Every relationship needs boundaries, and we discussed and established ours. What was it that made me comfortable or uncomfortable? For instance, constant late-night chats or frequent one-on-one hangouts with his girl bestie made me uneasy. I expressed this calmly and clearly. We found a balance that respected both of our needs.

Get your priorities straight

My boyfriend made me feel secure by prioritising me. I noticed that I was often the first one—and sometimes the only one—he talked to about his problems. This showed me that I held a special place in his life, reaffirming his commitment to our relationship. Knowing that he trusted and confided in me more than anyone else helped me feel valued and secure.

The importance of inclusivity

Inclusivity played a significant role in easing my concerns. I made an effort to get to know his girl bestie. Building my own relationship with her demystified their bond and showed me that their friendship was truly platonic. Being a part of their shared activities fostered a sense of unity and reduced my feelings of exclusion.

Image credits: Netflix 

Also read: 5 "diseases" that are a turn-off in dating

Also read: If you could, would you erase memories of your ex?