What is the complicated TikTok trend ‘Pick-Me Girl’ and is it really toxic for women?

What is the complicated TikTok trend ‘Pick-Me Girl’  and is it really toxic for women 

In the vast sea of TikTok, many a trends find home and believe us, a lot of these are a rebranding of already existing themes and age-old phenomenon. While these TikTok trends are usually entertaining, they can also be absolutely savage; for instance, the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ trend. For the uninitiated, it’s a fancier term for “guy’s girl” or “not like other girls” trope. Even if you’re not familiar with this term, chances are you know at least one person or a fictional character with this persona. The iconic line from Grey’s Anatomy—"Pick me, choose me, love me!"—by Meredith Grey, is a classic example of a ‘Pick-Me Girl. 

If you are still confused about the term and the buzz around it, don’t worry, we got you covered! Let’s take a closer look at what the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ trend actually is.

What is the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ trend?

The trend ‘Pick-Me Girl’ instantly became viral on TikTok with more than a billion views in a short span and with users creating hilarious and creative videos under the hashtag #PickMeGirl. This trend mocks women with the ‘Pick-Me girl’ persona—women who usually, directl or indirectly, create an impression that they’re different from other women in order to seek male validation and attention. A ‘Pick-Me’ girl takes pride in not being ‘like other girls’ and will try her best to set herself apart, even at the cost of putting other women down. Bollywood has had many characters that exemplify the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ persona, where the female lead often rolls her eyes and scoffs at her “girly” or “traditionally feminine” friends. Another characteristic of a ‘Pick-Me Girl’ is that they usually ridicule all the societal feminist concepts. It is believed that this behaviour usually stems from underlying misogyny.

Is the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ trend really toxic for women?

The virality of the mocking videos started a debate on the Internet—does the “Pick-Me girl” TikTok trend harbour hate towards the ‘Pick-Me’ girls and women in general? 

While the humorous presentation of the ‘Pick-Me Girl’ traits have earned it all the attention, the underlying question is why some women still feel the need to seek male validation. This approval-seeking tendency can be traced back to our predominantly patriarchal societal structure (though it has started to evolve now, there’s still it’s a long way to go), where women are conditioned to have certain feminine traits in order to be accepted by men.

Conclusion 

It’s important to understand that nobody’s perfect, we all possess some questionable personality traits, the only difference is that, not all these traits have made it to TikTok yet. So rather than mocking and making fun of these ‘Pick Me Girls’, it’s essential to raise awareness amongst women regarding self-acceptance, this way, they won’t feel the constant need for validation from men.

Ultimately, it’s also absolutely necessary to stop categorising women into all these different categories and pitting them against each other. Such actions only fuel misogyny without presenting any tangible solution to the problem. Once women collectively acknowledge that the only validation that is required is their own, then we can have honest and meaningful conversations about misogyny and its profound impact on women, enabling them to challenge patriarchal ideas.