What is monkey branching in a relationship?

We may have evolved from apes, but some things never change. You know how the animal swings from one branch to another? What’s interesting though, is how they never fully let go of the first branch until they grab onto the next one. It’s called ‘monkey branching’ and it is a common practice in dating and relationships as well. Here, a person is exploring future prospects, while still being in a relationship. Of course, their current partner has no idea.

Why do people do it? 

Monkey branching stems from a fear of abandonment and low self-esteem, which is why people who crave attention get into a new relationship before breaking up with their current partner. It can also be caused by a lack of commitment or emotional and physical intimacy in their relationship. In the context of BPD, this behaviour can lead to a cycle of unstable relationships as the individual may struggle to maintain a lasting and healthy connection with one partner. However, it is important to note that not all individuals with BPD exhibit this behaviour, and it is not a defining characteristic of the disorder. 

Signs of monkey branching

Communication is key to a healthy relationship. If your partner starts talking less, becomes secretive with their phone or computer, loses interest, and is often unavailable without explanation, it could be a sign of monkey branching. Seeing them flirt with other people in your presence or on social media is the biggest sign of monkey branching. In contrast, healthy and successful relationships that last are based on mutual trust, respect, and communication.

Is it the same as cheating? 

The answer to this question depends entirely on what exists between the two people. Most people in a relationship are unsure of ‘what are we?’ or ‘where is this relationship going?’ because they don’t have clarity yet. Are they exclusive and committed to each other? If yes, then such behaviour could be considered as monkey branching and in this case, cheating. All the more reason why partners must communicate their expectations and boundaries while being respectful of the other person.

How does the person doing the monkey branching feel

It’s all about perspective. Short-term gains may include having more than one partner at a time, but long-term losses could include trust issues or even legal and financial trouble if they’re cheating on their partner. Some people who are monkey branching could feel guilt, shame, and a sense of remorse for their actions, while others may feel nothing. Manipulators would easily be able to justify their actions as a way to cope with their feelings, blaming their partner for the infidelity.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Why we still cheat when open relationships are an option

Also read: Should you break up if your partner micro-cheated on you?

Also read: Tell-tale signs that your partner may be cheating on you