We are in the era of breakup parties and they are the peak of optimism

For decades, a breakup meant nights spent curled up with a tub of ice cream, a sad playlist on repeat, and endless rumination. But today, the end of a relationship is no longer just about heartbreak—it's a chance to hit reset, often with a party in tow. Breakup parties, once seen as quirky outliers, have become a mainstream way to turn sorrow into celebration. Today, people believe in just thanking each other for the good times, celebrate the end of an era and the beginning of a new phase with a breakup party. These events are all about reclaiming your independence, indulging in some serious self-care, and leaning on your friends. It's not just about moving on; it's about making a statement—you're not mourning the end, you're toasting to a fresh start.

From mourning to celebrating

Breakups have become an inevitable part of modern relationships, driven not merely by a growing sense of casualness but by a shift toward realism. "The person you fall in love with—whether a man or a woman—may feel like the perfect choice, and that feeling can linger long after. Yet there comes a moment when people recognise that even after spending six years with someone, it’s wiser to acknowledge that time is gone rather than risk wasting the next sixty years in an unsustainable situation," says Dr T R John, Senior Consultant Psychiatry, Aster Medcity, Kochi.

Today, people are less willing to compromise on certain things. The reasons to preserve peace and personal fulfilment have multiplied. In the past, those factors were minimal. He adds, "Now, there’s a stronger sense of individualism, a belief in the right to a reasonable level of peace, comfort, and happiness. There’s no longer an expectation to sacrifice one’s own well-being for someone else’s satisfaction." 

The psychology behind breakup celebrations

According to Doctor John, when someone passes away, we often observe a series of rituals—gatherings where everyone who was connected to the person comes to pay their respects. Soon after, there is a seven-day ceremony, followed by a memorial after a year, where family and friends come together once more. But why do we do this? These customs, known as rites of passage, serve a fundamental purpose for any relationship, whether it be between a father and child or friends. Firstly, these rituals offer a sense of finality. When someone is buried, or when their name is invoked in a prayer, it signifies the end. It says, "They are gone. It’s over." There is a deliberate act of closure.

Secondly, these gatherings allow everyone who shared a bond with the deceased or had a stake in that relationship to come together and pay homage. By doing so, they collectively acknowledge the end, finding their own way to say goodbye and attain closure. It’s akin to having a breakup party to mark the conclusion of a relationship. In essence, these traditions are about acknowledging the end, laying it to rest, and, in a way, celebrating life even as it concludes.

Dr John explains, "A breakup party can serve as a significant ritual, mirroring the emotional weight of the relationship that has ended. It represents not only the investment of time and memories but also a sense of finality. This gathering offers an opportunity for friends and others who have been part of the relationship to acknowledge their involvement—those who contributed to its growth, witnessed its evolution, and perhaps even played a role in bringing the couple together."

Ultimately, it’s an opportunity to celebrate what was, recognise the loss, and affirm the commitment to support one another as individuals embark on their next chapters.

The evolution of the breakup party

The concept of a breakup party began almost as a joke but has evolved over the years as people increasingly acknowledge the importance of claiming individuality and prioritizing happiness over all else.

Sugandha Arya, 28, who threw a party after ending a five-year relationship, shares her breakup party was "about reclaiming her identity." She explains, "I was in a toxic relationship and the breakup felt like I was finally liberated. I could be myself." Held at a club in Coimbatore, her party featured a DJ, and a customised cake that read, "Single and Thriving." "It was less about being petty and more about getting closure. It was about surrounding myself with love—just not the romantic kind," she says.

Arya is among many young adults who view these parties as a form of emotional healing. "We've seen a significant increase in the number of inquiries about organising breakup parties over the past year. We’ve just organised our first breakup party DJ night, which we plan to hold regularly every month," says the team of the club. 

Relationship expert and author Shahzeen Shivdasani, asserts, "Breakups can be incredibly isolating. A party reframes that isolation by bringing people together. It reminds the individual that they are supported and loved."

Another relationship coach, Chetna Chakravarthy, adds, "Today, things have changed dramatically. Outside India, breakups have long been a normal part of life; people would date, realize they weren't a match, and move on without hard feelings. It wasn’t the end of the world. But here, breakups have historically carried a heavy weight, as though if one relationship failed, love would never come again. There’s been a deep sense of finality to ending a relationship."

Now, however, the perspective is evolving. The idea of celebrating a breakup—whether ending a long relationship or a marriage—embraces the beauty of having experienced love. "It's about acknowledging that chapter and moving forward with optimism, ready to write the next one. As we normalise ending relationships that no longer serve us, embracing closure in a positive light becomes an empowering choice," she says. 

From sadness to self-care: The elements of a breakup party

With music, cake, and laughter, breakup parties are becoming more than just social gatherings—they are acts of self-reclamation. Thoughtful gestures promoting healing often accompany these celebrations, such as gifting self-care products designed to nurture both body and mind.

Mihika Bhattacharya, 29, an IT professional from Delhi, gifted her best friend a wellness hamper after her breakup and arranged an intimate gathering. "I wanted something unique for her and discovered brands offering lovely wellness products," she says.

Self-care products are increasingly viewed as a means to pamper oneself during this transitional time. "At Gemtherapy, we’ve seen a surge in customers seeking wellness gifts that promote emotional healing, like gemstone candles and elixirs," shares founder Sonali Dhandia Jain. "This summer, we received numerous requests for rose quartz candle holders and emotional healing bracelets, prompting us to launch a combo box for emotional well-being."

All images: Pexels

Also read: Why do we soft-launch our partners on social media but hard-delete them after a breakup?

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