Ways to give space in a relationship

Healthy boundaries are instrumental to a successful and long-lasting relationship, and both partners must give each other space. It’s an important aspect of self-care that is not only good for you, but also for your better half. Many times, some time away and distance is necessary when you’re feeling “too much”. What’s important to remember though is that asking for space is not a sign of your diminishing love for them. All you’re doing is taking a step back, to make sure that when you return, you’re a much better person and partner. It certainly is a win-win situation.

Here’s how to ask for (and give) it the right way. 

Communicate and ask

Never assume anything in a relationship. Always clear things out to get a better understanding of the situation. Knowing what space looks like for them is the first step in the process. If you need space, remember, it’s important to word your needs as a person can’t give you something if you don’t ask for it. And when you ask them, use ‘I’ sentences, to let your partner know and reassure them that they aren’t the reason why you are seeking some time to yourself.

To avoid any miscommunication, it’s best to define the concept of space with your partner as it could mean different things for different people. Lastly, if your partner is asking for space, ask them how much time they need—is it a day, a few days, or a longer duration? This will make them feel their need is respected. But don’t press so much that they think they have to explain more than they need to. They already feel that they need space and this would only make things worse.

Make it clear that you’re giving them space

It’s important to let your partner know that you have completely understood the reason why they need space and are comfortable with it. 

Use the time to do your favourite things

Taking some space will give you and your partner time to do things you love that you couldn't or didn't get the time to do. Often, when you are together, you tend to do activities that you both have common interests in, and there might have been a small possibility where you forgot, or maybe even neglected, your interests. Go back to the things you enjoyed before you met them or catch up with those who you’ve wanted to meet for a long time. This time and space could make you reconnect with some old hobbies.

Take all the time you need to process and feel

You might be surprised or hurt that they’re asking for space. Take some time to process those emotions. If you’re feeling bad and have negative feelings, just write them down or talk things out. It’s best to understand them and see how the exercise will help you both and your relationship. 

Text each other less than you used to

During the time that you are on your own, if the two of you have decided to text and call less, maintain it. It’s that simple.

How to give someone space, when you don’t want to

Giving space to your partner, especially when you don’t feel like or want to is a great opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and take the time to reflect on why you feel that way. Be honest with yourself and your feelings. Introspect and understand why the space might cause you discomfort. And when you have the answers, let your partner know about it so that they can understand and offer support. Should the problem persist and become a bone of contention among you two, seek professional help.

Remember, at the end of the day, giving your partner space is all about showing them respect, love, and compassion. It’s the greatest sign that you value and trust them. So if you’re thinking of asking your partner for space, know that it would very well bring the both of you closer.