Tell-tale signs that your partner may be cheating on you

You were in a healthy relationship with a partner that is a green flag from head to toe and life seemed like a bed of roses before you started noticing certain changes in their behaviour. Those once-in-a-while moments started becoming a pattern and you are unable to make sense of it. You are suspicious if your partner is cheating on you. While you may not have all the answers at once, here are some tell-tale signs that your partner is cheating on you.  

A lot will change if your partner’s thinking of cheating on you, or already is. To begin with, you will find it difficult to reach them at times, including at times when you were able to, back in the day. While we do realise that everyone’s busy with something, but people often do make time for things and people who matter. So if they’re acting a bit distant and this becomes a pattern, it should give you a reason to worry. A sudden and random change in their schedule without any sound reason or logic should also raise concern. 

They started hiding their phone

You might notice they act increasingly protective about their phone, carrying it with them everywhere they go or placing it face down when they spend time with you. 

If they spend more time chatting or talking on their phone than talking with you, it could be a sign that their attention is focused on someone else. If you feel safe doing so, try talking to your partner about how their constant phone use makes you feel unimportant. Try asking questions like, “Who are you texting?” or “Why are you hiding your phone?” If they get defensive at your inquiries, it is a clear red flag.

You no longer interact with their friends as often as you did

There’s a high chance that your partner’s friend will know of their infidelity. So, if they feel anxious and uneasy when you guys meet (for what seems like no apparent reason), know that something’s up because they know something you don’t. 

The lovemaking might reduce because your partner is getting it somewhere else. There's also a chance that the frequency of sex increases as your partner doesn’t want you to get suspicious or wants to compensate for their behaviour.  

They start changing their appearance

People always have a reason to do something and are pretty open about the lifestyle changes that they make and do. But if your partner starts wearing perfume, when they never did before or starts buying new clothes, pays more attention to grooming themselves, there’s a good chance they’re doing it for someone else and not you. 

Conversations about your future have taken a backseat

It’s always nice when chats with your loved one have the words ‘us’ and ‘we’—these are strong indicators that the person is thinking long-term and sees a future with you. If you feel that your partner has stopped talking about their future with you or where they see the relationship going, it’s time to check with them if they’re on the same page as you. 

They don’t want to open up to you anymore

Your partner was an open book once upon a time. You could read and know how they felt because the conversation was open and honest. If their responses to you are mundane and one-word answers, especially when you try to talk to them about their thoughts and feelings, it is a glaring red flag, indicating emotional unavailability. 

Their actions don’t match their words anymore

You’ll start to notice that the things that they say vs. the things they do just don’t add up. They might resort to lies to cover up another lie and that’s where they probably might lose track of objectivity and start becoming flaky. Couples tend to tell each other about their whereabouts, so if they are avoiding your questions or you find out that they aren't at the place they told you they would be, your suspicions will only get stronger. 

A person who cheats in a relationship has a lot to hide from their partner. If their reply to your questions are: “Why do you ask?” or “Why is that important?”, it's a red flag all the way. They might take it a step further and blame you for 'intruding' or 'questioning them'. Basically, they will do anything that will justify this behaviour and take away all the attention and focus off of them. This is a tactic to put you on the defensive and not think and discuss the actual problem. It will also condition you to discuss these things less often in the future as you would not want to upset them. 

Please note, while all these signs are clear indications of infidelity, it may be different for every relationship. If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, try having a conversation with them and use your discretion.