Signs that you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship

From feeling guilty, lonely, and silent, there are a host of signs to be careful of.

By Adit Ganguly

24 April, 2024

Signs that you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship

No one in a relationship should have to be afraid of their partner and their reactions. Walking on eggshells around them, always being careful about what you say or do to avoid conflict, and living in constant worry and anxiety about when you might blow their fuse, is extremely detrimental to your mental health. It can completely change who you are as a person, and not in a good way. All just so you can make the relationship work rather than talk things out with your partner.

Here are some tell-tale signs that you’re constantly walking on eggshells in your relationship.

You’re always worried

Every moment spent together, from the time you wake up to the minute you hit the sack, all you’re worrying about is what you say and do that might affect their mood. This causes you to be in a constant state of fear whenever they’re around or speak to you, which can be very traumatic. It negatively impacts your confidence, so much so that you’re always second-guessing yourself in the relationship. Eventually, you end up losing faith in your ability to be productive and successful in what you do.

You avoid communication

A healthy relationship is one where both partners are able to talk to each other before making any decision. The moment you feel you can’t voice your opinion, you know you’re in trouble. You nip things in the bud and avoid any conversation so as to not give them a chance to get angry with you. For you, keeping quiet is a way to not worsen the situation.

We internalise disappointment and self-doubt due to our lack of communication when love isn’t reciprocated or when it doesn’t meet our expectations. This snowballs into any future relationships, making it difficult for the person to open up and have an honest conversation that requires them to be vulnerable because they’re constantly thinking of being judged.

You’ve lost your core identity

When you’re walking on eggshells in a relationship, you lose all sense of self by constantly watching what you say and do. Holding back and not expressing your opinion—just because you don’t want to upset them, will see you detach not just from your partner, but the person you used to be.

You may start feeling manipulated

A manipulative partner will try to control the way to behave. They will emotionally and verbally abuse you, reminding you that you’re too weak, unattractive, and incompetent. Your partner blames you for anything that goes wrong (even when it is not your fault) and gives you no opportunity to explain yourself. Further, they could resort to subtle manipulation which forces you to withdraw from your social circle.

There is no trust, stability, or equality between you two

You’re unable to talk to your partner about things that are serious and sensitive. Anytime you do, your partner will blame you for the problem and won’t validate your feelings and emotions. This not only leads to low self-worth (as mentioned above) but also makes you lose all the trust and respect you have for each other. Add to that, any relationship that becomes unpredictable due to one partner being manipulative loses its stability over time. Lastly, when you’re constantly treading on eggshells around your partner, you’ll soon realise that you’re the one giving all your power to them, and placing them on a pedestal. Things always need to be equal in a relationship.

You’re constantly overlooking their behaviour

If you find yourself overlooking your partner’s actions (their outbursts more than anything), and faults and then justifying them, you might want to work on the issue. Don’t be the person who will do anything for love and show them how much you love them. You may start feeling that you are solely accountable for their happiness, well-being, and emotional state. You may internalise their reactions, believing that it is your fault if they become upset, angry, or disappointed. This mindset can lead to constant self-blame, guilt, and a sense of being trapped.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Signs it is time to let go of your relationship

Also read: 10 signs you've been delulu about your partner's red flags

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