Sex Queen Says: Your most pressing questions about pool sex, bedroom awkwardness and more answered

You know sometimes you have these pressing questions and you wonder if asking your friends would be a great idea. I mean, we all have those friends who are great people but are the most judgemental. We also have friends who have the confidence of a cat and will give you the wrong advice, but with so much guarantee that you wonder why haven't they become the Prime Minister yet. 

You need that older sister or best friend or sometimes, a harsh reality check. Cosmopolitan India's Sex Queen will be that for you. Read through the questions people sent over to us and the answers our very own Sex Queen has for the same. Who knows what may be relatable to you? 

My girlfriend and I are heading out for a staycation that has a private pool. Since I'm looking to make the most of that, what's the best way to have sex inside it?

Having sex in a private pool is the closest you can get to having sex in water, unless you’re trying to build sand castles in pincodes that don’t support it. However, while foreplaying in the pool is easy-peasy, intercourse is a whole new ball game—and you need to have a serious sesh of self-reflection before you opt for it. 

First things first, the foreplay needs to be so good that she is wetter than water because the latter tends to make the vajayjay rather dry. Second, if you need assistance, invest in a silicone-based lubricant because that won’t get washed away by the water. 

Once you cross that bridge, plan the sex positions you will get it on in. It can be very hot if you are able to pull off the wheelbarrow sex position while your girlfriend is lying on a raft float. But if you want to have very realistic expectations, let your girlfriend put their arms on the edge of the pool and take support from it. You can then lift her legs over your shoulder or put them around your waist so she is sort of levitating (physically and mentally) while you guys have sex. 'Non-latex condoms are believed to get weaker in chlorinated water, so opt for latex ones. If you’re allergic to the latter, please don’t rely on the pull-out method. The pool cleaner should not have to go through the aftermath of your sexy time. 

If the pool sex sounds like a lot to you, and that is low-key killing your libido, foreplay the f**k out in the water and take the intercourse to the sun lounger! If not, having a bangin’ pool sex sesh! 

How do you take the awkwardness out of the situation if you fart while having sex?

I am assuming you’ve farted once and you plan or expect to fart again while having sex. I can also tell that you’re not concerned about preventing the fart but avoiding the awkwardness that may come with it. If you are so passionate about your freedom to express yourself in the gaseous state, just embrace it. Think of it as taking your relationship to the next level. Laugh it off. Offer them a mask, keep a room freshener ready or light some aromatic candles to camouflage the odour. That’s literally your best bet. If your partner accepts you with your farty fartiness, they are worth it. Else, find someone else or forever hold your…erm, farts. 

I'm a person who values independence, and based on my prior experiences, relationships do end up taking a toll on me. A lot of guys who I come across nowadays want to settle. How do I ask them about wanting sex and nothing else, without hurting their feelings?

Relationships can be a lot of work, especially if you’re in an unhealthy one. First things first, where are you finding all these guys who want to settle? Please pass a few here! I know a few people who’d reallyyy appreciate a person without commitment phobia. Second, unless you are in a dating pool of adolescents from the 50s, why would communicating your desires from the get-go be a problem? It becomes a problem if you led on someone. Right in the start, let them know you’re looking for some casual sex in these many words and let them figure out what they want. 

PS: We do not offer medical advice and it shouldn't be treated like one. 

Image courtesy: Cosmopolitan.com