I have often thought about the mysteries of fortune. And one question that often comes up, with friends or even a patient, is whether it is wise to speak of good things before they come to pass. Human hope, which is woven with threads of optimism and caution, influences our choices and shapes our destinies. Sharing good things before they happen involves balancing anticipation and vulnerability.
If you're wondering whether or not you should share, here's a list of pros and cons to help you find the best approach.
Sharing your goals can serve as a motivational tool, as verbalising intentions makes you more committed to achieving them. When you talk about your aspirations, you invite external validation and accountability. The prospect of having to explain your progress—or lack thereof—to others can increase your drive to follow through.
Social support and encouragement
Discussing your future plans opens the door to support and encouragement from friends, family, and colleagues. Social support has been shown to bolster mental resilience and provide a buffer against stress. By talking about your goals, you may garner valuable advice, resources, or simply moral support, which can be instrumental in achieving your objectives.
The 'jolly band' can provide both moral and practical support, helping you navigate the path towards achieving your goals.
Positive reinforcement
When others react positively to your plans, it reinforces your belief in your ability to succeed. This can be particularly beneficial for your self-esteem and can help sustain your motivation through challenging times.
Why you shouldn't share it with anyone?
Premature satisfaction and reduced effort
Psychological research indicates that talking about our goals might lead to a phenomenon called "premature satisfaction." The mere act of prattling about one's grand ambitions can trick our brains into feeling a sense of triumph even before a single iota of effort has been made. This illusion can diminish our eagerness to pursue our goals, as we might feel like we've already achieved success simply by sharing our grand visions. Consequently, the road to accomplishment can become obstructed by the very act of its revelation.
Risk of negative feedback and undermining belief
One of the worst things people can do is come up with their own belief systems that are shaped by fear and anxiety, which is a result of fearful parenting. With their "best intentions", they dump unnecessary doubts on our path to achieving our goals. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of their fears, which become a part of their personality by early adulthood; they cannot distinguish between fear and practical challenges. You must remember that not everyone will be supportive. Hearing others’ doubts and criticism might magnify your own insecurities, undermining your confidence and enthusiasm while detracting from your motivation.
Impact of the “illusionary progress"
Talking about our goals can create a false notion of progress, which could potentially lead to complacency. If you think that talking about your goals will lead to a sense of completion or approval from others, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.
What should your approach be
The first way is to find solace in the wisdom of moderation. Withhold some of the information that you want to share and keep some for later. More importantly, share it with people who are closest to you.
The second way is to share it with everyone regardless of who knows you and recover from the losses later. If there is a reduction in motivation, you know that your goal isn't as well-defined or as interesting to you as it should be. In that case, alter your goals according to your preferences, change your methods, and try to be more self-aware to understand what actually sustains your motivation even after you've shared it with others.
Find your real need. Work on the fears that deter you from continuing on your path when others bring doubt. And continue to share your goals!
My advice: It's okay to share with loved ones, depending on the time and energy you have.
Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Chumki Bose, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo girls find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.
Bose is the chief psychologist at Mindtribe.in, who focuses on marriage, relationships, family dynamics, personality disorders, trauma-related psychological issues, anxiety, depression, and existential crises.
Also read: Here's why manifestation may not be working for you just yet
