#SaneGirlEra: How to deal with microaggressions?

Microaggressions are shadows of the collective psyche—often unnoticed yet profoundly impactful. They fall into three categories: microassaults, microinsults, and microinvalidations. Microassaults are the blatant jabs, while microinsults creep in with a subtle sting. Microinvalidations dismiss experiences, like saying, “You don’t really belong here.” It’s a veil over one’s reality, suggesting a narrative of inadequacy based on background.

Individuals who engage in microaggressions often display a lack of sensitivity toward others' experiences; they may harbour implicit biases that often stem from social conditioning. This behaviour can reflect a need for validation or superiority. Often, such individuals may not intend harm, yet their actions reveal underlying prejudices and reinforce systemic inequalities in social interactions.

Recognising microaggressions

Spotting microaggressions is similar to discerning whispers in a crowded room, and these are some markers.

Context matters: Words carry weight. You must pay attention when identity is the focal point as a comment’s backdrop can reveal its true intent.

Inconsistency in communication: When the intention of a remark clashes with its effect, it signals a microaggression. Sometimes humour can mask harmful truths.

Repetitive patterns: Patterns emerge like echoes—if certain phrases recur toward specific groups, they may hide deeper biases.

Microagression in personal relationships

In personal relationships, these are subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviours that convey bias or stereotypes. These can manifest as dismissive remarks about someone's culture, assumptions based on race or gender, or trivialising a person's experiences. For example, telling a partner, “You speak English really well,” may seem like a compliment, but it can imply that their background is unexpected or inferior.

Such microaggressions can erode trust and intimacy over time, leading to feelings of invalidation or frustration. They often reflect deeper societal prejudices, making it essential for individuals to cultivate awareness and sensitivity in their interactions. 

Navigating microaggressions

Microaggressions are often dismissed as minor slights and can accumulate over time, creating a toxic environment that fosters feelings of isolation and worthlessness. When individuals are repeatedly subjected to subtle insults or invalidations, the emotional toll can lead to severe anxiety and depression. This constant pressure can amplify vulnerabilities, pushing some toward self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

In a land as vibrant as India, embracing diversity is vital. By cultivating awareness, fostering dialogue, and communicating mindfully, we can weave a fabric of respect that honours every identity. As we strive for inclusivity, we not only enrich our interactions but fortify the strength of our collective consciousness.

Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Chumki Bose, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo readers find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.

Bose is the chief psychologist at Mindtribe.in, who focuses on marriage, relationships, family dynamics, personality disorders, trauma-related psychological issues, anxiety, depression, and existential crises.

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