#SaneGirlEra: How do I not bring my personal life to work?

We usually spend most of our waking hours at work. It’s easy to get friendly and often, attached to our colleagues, especially if they are a fun bunch. While it is great to have work friends, who have your back, you may also find yourself getting a little too comfortable at work. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you’re having deep conversations with your favourite colleague-friend. Sometimes, if you’ve had a bad fight at home or with a friend, you find yourself feeling bothered by it, and most probably sharing it with your office bestie. Now, it’s not entirely possible to leave our personal lives out of work because we are humans but it is essential to do so for various reasons.

Humans are shaped by emotions, which influence thoughts and decisions, guiding interactions and relationships. Emotions drive motivation, impacting creativity and resilience. Ultimately, they form our identities and how we experience the world. It will affect the motivation levels, due to serotonin, adrenaline and dopamine imbalances which will hit productivity and speed.

Professionalism isn’t just about dress code; it’s about attitude. Treat work as a separate entity. Approach your tasks with a clear mind. This means showing up on time, meeting deadlines, and keeping a positive attitude. If you’re too wrapped up in personal issues, it’ll show, and it’s not a good look.

So, how do you keep your personal life from spilling into the office?

Set clear boundaries

First off, boundaries are crucial. Your job is not your therapy session. Draw a line. When you clock in, focus on the tasks at hand instead. It’s okay to take breaks and have a chill conversation with your colleagues, but don’t dump your troubles on a colleague while they are rushing to meet deadlines. If you feel the urge to vent, consider a friend outside of work instead. It’s about being professional and keeping the workspace productive. A focused, emotionally regulated employee is often more appreciated in the team.

Stay mindful of conversations

Many people have met their besties at work and that’s okay. While you may have found a bestie in your colleague, an office environment is still not the space to ruminate over things. Keep conversations light and work-related. If a colleague starts diving into personal topics and you’re not comfortable with it, steer the conversation back to business. Simple and straight!

Create a work persona

Remember the episode when Monica discovers Chandler’s fake laugh? You don’t have to pull that off but it’s important to create a work persona. You can get into your work clothes, and switch to ‘focus’ mode the moment you step into your office. Maybe it can be a song that immediately gets you to business. When your focus wanders, ground yourself, and try deep breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. Engage your senses by noticing five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste. It helps to compartmentalise your thoughts and feelings. When you’re at work, be all in. Leave the personal stuff for later.

Use breaks wisely

Breaks are for recharging, not for rehashing personal drama. Use that time to clear your head or connect with colleagues on neutral topics. You’d be surprised how much a quick chat about the weekend can lift your spirits without delving into personal struggles.

Find an outlet

If life’s throwing curveballs your way, find healthy outlets. Exercise, hobbies, or talking to friends outside of work can help. This will help you clear your mind before you step into work. 

Ask for help

Sometimes, it’s tough to compartmentalise. If you’re struggling to keep your personal life at bay, consider talking to a professional. There’s no shame in seeking help to navigate life’s challenges. It’ll benefit you at work and in your personal life.

In a nutshell, keeping your personal life out of work isn’t just a courtesy; it’s a necessity. It’s about creating a productive environment for yourself and your colleagues. So, next time you feel the urge to share your personal woes, remember: save it for the right time and place. 

Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Chumki Bose, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo girls find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.

Bose is the chief psychologist at Mindtribe.in, who focuses on marriage, relationships, family dynamics, personality disorders, trauma-related psychological issues, anxiety, depression, and existential crises.

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