How to give yourself closure and heal after a breakup

Dealing with a bad breakup? Here’s the perfect guide to get you healing.

06 August, 2024

How to give yourself closure and heal after a breakup

When it comes to dealing with breakups, we often feel like we've hit rock bottom. And while that's not always the case, the only way to move on, we've been told, is to find closure—a phrase that is often thrown around after a breakup. Easier said than done, if you ask us.

How do you get closure after a breakup? How do you even begin to heal? What are the steps one is supposed to take to move on? These are questions that we've all asked ourselves at some point or the other in our lives. Healing is not about finding a magic answer, which is why we're here to show you the different ways in which you can find closure and heal after a bad breakup!

Accept the breakup

The first step towards closure is acknowledging the end of the relationship. This doesn't mean suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is okay. It's about allowing yourself to feel the grief and sadness, while recognising that the relationship has run its course. Holding onto the hope of reconciliation can damage your healing process and prevent you from moving forward.

Cut off your ex and create distance

Should you talk to your ex? Of course not! Resist the urge to text your ex. Seriously, put your phone away! Social media stalking is a no-go too. Looking at their happy vacation pics won't make you feel any better, trust me. Instead of playing detective, focus on yourself. Return their stuff—everything from the gifts they gave you to their clothes; this can be a symbolic act of closing the door on the past. But it's too difficult for you, ask a trusted friend to help you out with it.

Stop playing the blame game

It's natural to wonder who messed up more among the two of you. But remember, there are two sides to every coin. And trust me, this game has no winners, only a whole lot of unnecessary drama. Holding onto the blame only weighs you down and stops you from enjoying and embracing life the way it comes. Let it go and you'll be surprised to see how much lighter you feel.

Write it out

Being a writer myself, I can confirm that writing about how you're feeling can really help you process your emotions. Instead of reaching out to your ex (trust me, not a good idea!), grab a pen and paper (or maybe open your Notes app, which is what I like to do instead) and write down everything that's swirling inside you—the anger, the sadness, the "what ifs". Don't worry about making sense, just let it flow!

And here’s the catch—this letter isn't for your ex, it's for you. It's a way to understand your own emotions and maybe even see things from a different perspective.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable

Crying, feeling sad, and experiencing a range of emotions are all natural responses to a loss. Don't judge yourself for what you're feeling. Healing takes time, and everyone's journey is unique. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space to grieve and process the experience.

Practice self care

Remember those hobbies you loved before your ex took up all your time? Dust them off! Whether it's painting, playing music, or reading a book, indulge in the activities that bring you joy and make your soul happy! Along with mental health, keep an eye on your physical health too. So ditch the junk food and get your body moving. It could be a walk in nature, a dance party in your living room, or simply spending a few minutes at the gym—do anything that gets your heart pumping!

Reconnect with your support system

Lean on your friends and family, the ones who will listen without judgement. Surrounding yourself with supportive people will remind you that you're not alone in this.

*Thanks to my best friends who have pulled me out of each of my bad breakup phases!*