How to deal with a friend who is constantly putting you down

Yes, it’s not just you. Everyone has at least one or two people around them, who just seem to casually throw in insensitive comments. For instance, if you tell them you’re joining a dating app, they will advise you to lose weight first. Or if you meet them directly after work, the first thing they may say is that if you had gone home first, you would have looked better. 

The rude comments are endless. With such friends, what do you even do because they are so nonchalant about it? Fret not, we have your back. Here’s helping you deal with a frenemy who belittles you every chance they get.

Ask them if they are okay 

They may be going through a bad phase or be holding some sort of grudge against you. It’s best to ask if they are doing okay and if this behaviour is the result of some unresolved issues they have with you. This will help you understand if there is a reason behind them acting out or if that’s just part of their personality.

Communicate that it bothers you

Sometimes, people have overtly critical or insecure personalities. It’s best to let them know that such behaviour doesn’t come without possibilities of harm. If they truly care for you as a friend (and these comments are not intentional) they will at least try to change. 

Ask them analytical questions 

If they still act like that, just ask them (in the calmest voice) if that’s because they are insecure about similar things. Ask them analytical questions that either make them truly reflect or simply uncomfortable making those statements to you. Either way, your job will be done! 

Give delayed or no responses  

It’s easy to get agitated when someone belittles you. If it’s on text, take your time and respond calmly when you can. Or simply ignore them every time they say things that should not be said. They will not get the satisfaction they were looking for and eventually give up.

Distance yourself

If everything fails and they continue to be mean to you, let them know you’ve chosen to distance yourself from them because you feel they are insensitive. Whether they fight with you after that or fix things, it’s worth a try! 

All images: Pexels

Also read: Are friendship breakups reversible?

Also read: How to not get intimidated by your friends' career growth