How to avoid awkward silence on a first date

There’s always the excitement, nervousness and the hope of making things click with someone new on a first date. While one hopes for the best, there’s always the thought at the back of one’s mind of the date being filled with awkward silences. When you’re trying to put on your best first impression, such moments can make things feel uncomfortable as you look for ways to navigate the situation. Yes, there will certainly be brief pauses, but anything beyond a limit would be an indicator of the date going from good to bad. There are ways to avoid such awkward moments. To begin with you can approach your date by having a positive mindset, having conversations by pacing it well and being curious to know them. Doing so will lead to an interaction that flows smoothly that could result in a second date. 

Here are a few tips to avoid awkward silence on a first date

Have some conversation starters in mind

If you’re not one to speak, ask them things that’ll make them talk and see you chime in. Questions or topics can revolve around hobbies, recent travels, food, movies, etc. Remember, you want the conversation to be long, so best to avoid asking them things that would have a yes or no answer. Open-ended questions lead to more elaborate answers and you getting to know each other better. 

Be an active listener during the date 

Show that you’re genuinely interested your date, and respect them, by listening and following up on what they’re saying with thoughtful questions or comments will keep the conversation free-flowing and prevent those awkward silences you’re worried about. Don’t interrupt them while they’re talking and ask them things just because you have an answer ready. A great way to be an active listener is to stay in the present. You can do is pay attention to their mood and body language. If you notice that the topic is dying and not leading anywhere, shift it. 

Remember to ask follow-up questions

If you’re listening to what they’re saying, you’ll be smart and respectful to ask them follow-up questions. This keeps the conversation going and lets your date know that weren’t just staring at them or into thin space. For example, if they talk about their favourite movie, ask them why they love it so much, what’s their favourite scene, your thoughts about the film (if you’ve seen it), etc. 

Speak about your shared interests

It’s easier to have a conversation if you two have something in common. If you know you both like a particular activity, sport, or show, talk about it. This not only fills any awkward gaps but also creates opportunities for further discussion on topics you both enjoy.

It needs to be a two-way conversation

A date should be two people talking and having fun. What it shouldn’t be is an interrogation where you’re the only one asking questions and them having to answer not because they want to, but because they have to. It’s really important to balance how much you speak and listen on not just the first date, but any date for that matter and avoid dominating the conversation or staying too quiet. 

You can make this happen by opening up (this doesn’t mean you narrate your entire life story). Share some funny or personal stories that will help break the ice and make your date feel comfortable doing the same. It just makes everything feel more natural. 

Natural pauses are absolutely fine

If there’s a brief pause during the date, there’s nothing to be worried about. It, in no way indicates that the date is going poorly. These things are normal for a first date. Use this moment as an opportunity to reflect on what has been said, gather your thoughts and ask a new question. When you’re relaxed, your date will likely feel more at ease too.

Use the location to your advantage

If you’re at a coffee shop, bar, or museum, use the surroundings to start a conversation. Talk about the ambiance, setting, a piece of art, music playing in the background etc that’ll move the conversation forward seamlessly. It can lead to organic conversation starters and is a great way to share common interests.

Do compliment, but keep them genuine

Compliments can be a great way to break the ice, but they should feel genuine and specific. Compliment something unique about your date, whether it’s their style, laugh, or how they tell a story. Compliments help build rapport and make both people feel more at ease. But keep them to a limit and don’t force it when it’s not required. 
By keeping things light-hearted, authentic, and attentive, you’ll find that awkward silences will be less frequent and you’re a step closer to that second date.

Lead image: Netflix

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