Here’s how a sex cleanse could increase intimacy in your relationship 

Recently, I came across a video by YouTube creator Leah Wei on her sexual identity and experience with sexual abstinence. It was the latter that caught my attention—I’d never heard of the term before outside of religious circles, and most definitely not in the case of an already sexually active person giving up sex. She went on to explain how it made her relationship with the act more meaningful and devoid of pressure or expectations, and also helped her come to terms with her sexual identity. 

This led me down a rabbit hole trying to understand more about the term and what it is. Below, discover what sex cleanse (or sex detox, sex abstinence) is, and how it could be the key to a more intentional and intimate relationship. 

What is a sex cleanse or detox?

Like a junk food cleanse or a sugar detox, a sex cleanse involves abstaining from engaging in sexual activity for a while—how long is up to you and your partner. While a week or two is a nice place to start, a month is ideal to get the most out of it. 

The benefits of a sex cleanse are many

When you’re in a long-term relationship, sex can become habitual—you have preferred time of the day to do it at, have your go-to sex positions down pat, and have even memorised the exact days you like to get it on. More than a hot, steamy session, it becomes a part of the routine, and let’s be honest, there is nothing sexy about a boring routine—it’s predictable and formulaic. A sex cleanse might just add that element of yearning and passion back into your life. Not having sex for a given period of time will make you rethink about the reason you have sex—because of attraction, rather than seeing it as something that is part of your duty. 

Even if you already have a hot sex life and are quite sexually satisfied, a cleanse might make the act more meaningful and desirable for you—encouraging you to focus on touch, sensuality, and the connection you two have. It will surely make you aware of all the little things that make sex so enjoyable—the longing gaze, the simple act of touching, even the cuddles afterward!

Things to keep in mind before taking the plunge

Before you decide to do a sex detox, talk to your partner about their feelings and thoughts on the subject—consent is key. Discuss what both of you hope to gain from the exercise—do you want to use it to revive a waning sex life? Do you want to add a bit of spice and try it purely as an experiment? How long will you practice it for? Every couple is different, so sit down with your partner to talk about what will work for you. Even during the abstinence period, keep checking in with them to ensure both of you are on the same page, and set boundaries so there is no misunderstanding. 

Remember, just because you’re deciding to have sex off the table for a few days or weeks, doesn’t mean you abstain from all forms of affection. Touch and other forms of non-sexual intimacy are the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, so it’s important to continue showing your partner love and tenderness in other ways.