Do you have a frenemy in disguise? Here's how to spot them

You know the saying, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” In reality, the saying should be more like, “Keep your friends close, but your frenemies closer.” Because it’s not your enemies, but the ones who pretend to be your friends, that can betray you when you least expect it. If you fail to recognise their true intentions in time, it can (potentially) leave you in ruins. 

Now most of us are familiar with the term. But if you’re new here (and are living under a rock), a ‘frenemy’ is someone who pretends to be your friend but doesn’t have your best interests at heart. For instance, they claim to support you but are secretly competing with you. Take Serena and Blair from Gossip Girl, for instance—despite their outward friendship, they were often petty, mean, and jealous of each other. Trust us, you don’t need this negative energy in your life. People like this can be more venomous than Nagini in Harry Potter.

So, how do you spot them? Here are a few ways.

They (only) come around when they need you 

These are the kind of people who will hover around, showering you with attention, even love-bombing you, but only to get something from you. They may want help, and the moment they receive it, they vanish into thin air. On the contrary, when you reach out to them, they are likely to abandon you, or as Gen-Z would put it, ghost you. 

They try to make everything about themselves 

Imagine landing your dream job and calling your frenemy to share your excitement. Instead of letting you express your happiness, they start ranting about a petty feud they had with a colleague at work, completely ignoring your feelings. They’ve managed to make your big day all about them, ruining it for you in the process. People who don’t value you ultimately become burdens you don’t need. Take this as a sign to cut them off.

They compete with you on the smallest things 

This is a particularly petty trait of frenemies, as they quickly escalate competition over the smallest things when all you’re trying to do is live your best life. For instance, if you get a new phone, they’ll get an even better one just to rub it in your face (even if you don’t care). When you’re discussing your latest work project, they’ll interrupt to talk about their work, trying to one-up you at every turn. This way, you’ll never get to live your moments, for they will always try to punch you down. 

They don’t defend you in rooms where you aren’t present 

A frenemy will never defend you in rooms where you aren’t present. Essentially, they will gossip about you behind your back instead of standing up for you. They will not have your back when it’s necessary and only pretend to care about you until they’re called upon to prove it.

Lead image credit: Netflix

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