A Comprehensive Guide to Dealing with a Toxic Workplace

*Natasha had just started working with a new company, days before the pandemic hit. She managed to successfully work through the pandemic without losing her job, efficiently working from home. Even as the workload tripled, she was glad that she was able to hold on to her job, in spite her work-life balance being severely compromised. And then post the lifting of the restrictions, as our daily lives staggered back to the new normal, the prospect of going back to office did cause her some anxiety.

But she thought of it as just any other challenge, convinced that with time she would adapt to her new routine. But little did she know that re-joining the office would prove to be a Pandora’s Box, one she was not equipped to handle. Later, she discovered she was not the only one who was feeling lost and helpless, and to her dismay, she realised that working from home had shielded her for so long from what she was now realising to be a toxic workplace.

 

How to Recognise Toxicity at the Workplace?

According to Dr Lubhana Malik, Delhi-based psychotherapist, specialising in relationships with self and others, there are certain clear indicators of a toxic workplace such as abuse, bullying, harassment, discrimination on the basis of gender or other socio-cultural factors like religion and caste, exclusion, and favouritism. She explains, “The type of toxic behaviours include (but are not limited to) personal attacks, passive-aggressive bosses, workplace politics, lack of transparency, punitive behaviour by leadership, destructive gossip, unfair workplace policies, unethical work practices, and aggression. And then, there are the subtle signs of a toxic workplace, which are, perhaps, about a certain attitude where it is assumed that all employees are machines without feelings or a general wholesome life.”

 

As a result, toxicity at the workplace can hamper mental health in multiple ways, making one feel less confident, and destroying one’s sense of self-worth over a period of time. It can also lead to anxiety and depression. Head of Psychological Services, Artemis Hospital Gurugram, Dr Chandrima Misra Mukherjee is no stranger to such scenarios, as she noticed a rise in cases of individuals feeling burnt out or uncomfortable on re-joining their workplaces post the pandemic. “Many are struggling to manage work from office after the pandemic, and are experiencing general low moods and anxiety, resulting in deterioration of both their mental well-being and performance. The indicators of an unhealthy work environment include poor emotional (anxiety, depression, anger outburst, high reactivity to stressors, frequent burnouts) and physical well-being of employees (low fitness levels, unexplained aches and pains in the body), low motivation among employees, and hostility among employees and between the various hierarchical levels of an organisation,” she elaborates.   

 

Dealing with Exclusion

Often as you work with a team or in any organisation, certain cliques of groups are bound to form. That is just pure human nature, as all us individuals tend to organically gravitate towards certain people in particular or repel others on occasions. But witnessing clique formations or patterns of exclusion can be extremely distressing for an employee, which brings along a sense of estrangement. If you are experiencing alienation, then Dr Lubhana suggests, “First, take care of yourself and do not let the environment determine your self-worth because that will affect your performance. Second, set clear boundaries and expectations with your employer about what is possible for you, what is negotiable, and non-negotiable. Third, have a conversation with your manager to clarify any miscommunications and clear the air. Finally, if none of the above steps help, do not take the exclusion personally and proceed with compassion for yourself.”

 

When Your Boss or Senior is the Source…

Yes, all bosses or seniors aren’t the same. Some nurture and help you grow both as a professional and a person, while others can do just the opposite. In hierarchical structures, the abuse of authority or power is unfortunately common and often one does not have any proper grievance redressal mechanisms in place to resolve issues. True that Human Resources in most organisations should ensure a positive work environment and help employees, but the fact that they align themselves with the powerful within the organisation is not unusual.

Dr Chandrima shares, “I often meet clients, who report low self-confidence, feelings of entrapment, and extreme self-doubt in their relationship with their bosses or supervisors. They start controlling almost all aspects of employee’s work and personal behaviours, create self-doubt in their thought process, and can at times even single out the employee with incessant bullying or manipulation and isolate them from the rest. Some situations could also resemble an almost ‘corporate Stockholm syndrome’, where the employee develops complete trust and faith in an exploitative and yet charismatic leader, while an insidious erosion of self-confidence occurs simultaneously, which the employee is completely oblivious to.” In such tricky situations, she advises that one must not dismiss oneself, and label their thoughts and feelings as trivial anxiety or oversensitivity.

And even though it might sound easier said than done, one must strive to focus more on performance than likeability, as Dr Lubhana suggests. She recommends fixing meetings to discuss and clarify, and have an open dialogue with the toxic boss or senior if possible. “Put everything on the table and share how you feel. Follow it up with an email about tentative minutes of that meeting, so that there is a record of the pattern. If things are not resolved even after this, try to see if you can switch teams or discuss with a different manager or the top most boss about what you are going through. While this can be damaging, but sometimes it is the only way to bring attention to toxic patterns. It is wonderful to have a work environment you love, but if you don’t, it is okay to continue to work despite struggles because facing challenges is an essential part of being an adult. Also, create a support system for yourself because you will need it to survive—invest in family, friends, and opt for therapy."

 

Relationship between Toxic Work Environment and Burnouts

It is no secret that there is a direct relationship between the mental health of employees and toxic workplaces. A quick search on the Internet will present a host of studies that prove that employees in unhealthy work environments tend to experience burnouts more frequently and intensely. “If you feel seen, heard, and understood in your work environment, then you are more likely to perform well and proactively seek more work. However, when there is disrespect, transgression of one’s boundaries, lack of trust, then employees struggle with physical and mental health issues, and their immune system also weakens. Naturally due to the constant fear, stress, anxiety, panic, or depression, burnouts occur,” says Dr Lubhana.

Dr Chandrima emphasises on the need to consider therapy as she says that most of her clients feel who disconnected from their leaders do not understand their value in the system, and lack emotional and logistical support from their own teams at work. Hence, they often come to therapy with burnouts, which can be further exaggerated by pre-exiting mental vulnerabilities.

 

When Should One Draw the Line?  

As each person is unique, their tolerance levels also vary. “The ‘enough is enough’ is different for each individual. However some of us just don’t have the option to quit our jobs, no matter however toxic the work environment. And even if you do and you choose a place with better practices, it is inevitable that you will face difficulties at the new place too. In order to identify where you should ideally be drawing the line, one must introspect and have an honest, internal conversation about one’s own belief system and critically evaluate the negative changes the toxicity is bringing about. You must be able to objectively assess the value the toxic workplace adds or fails to add to your professional and personal life, as well as if it realistically presents any opportunity for growth,” says Dr Lubhana.

Dr Chandrima urges everyone to make their own decisions and not allow anyone else to influence you when it comes to quitting. “Listen to your body and mind when they give you signals of discomfort such as tension, worry, or sadness at the thought of work. You should take note if you are experiencing reoccurring migraines or headaches, and fatigue related to work. These symptoms mean that things are becoming too much for you to cope with, and that it’s time to pick up your problem-solving approach and address it. There is no shame in acknowledging that your coping skills might not be enough to meet the demands of a toxic work environment. If we never blame or question our body, like when it is unable to cope with a virus and gets infected, then why question our mind?!”

 

Essential Reminders

Everything said and done, it is only you who can help yourself. Speaking up or going against the flow may require courage and can be intimidating no doubt but suffering on a daily basis in a toxic work environment is not ideal in the long run. You have to care and protect your own self and both Dr Lubhana and Chandrima agree that setting up basic boundaries can help. Dr Lubhana explains, “No environment or relationship, whether personal or professional, will ever be perfectly conducive or compliant and hence, as individuals we must frequently evaluate our choices. Setting up boundaries can help achieve balance and clarity, which in turn provide a sense of certainty and aid in anxiety or fear reduction.”

The structural assistance that boundaries provide help build tolerance and resilience that boost and strengthen our mental health. “Disengaging with the toxic individual is also advised. Distancing yourself by the means of speaking freely, expressing disagreement, and developing a separate circle with like-minded people at workplace should be considered. One can also try out problem-focused coping instead of emotion-based coping. Acknowledge and deal with the workplace distress by either using calming techniques such as listening to music, movement and dance therapy, or engaging in any activity such as cooking or painting that soothes you. Once the overwhelming emotional wave passes, we must focus our attention back on the problem, break it down into smaller parts, and work out steps to solve each smaller task,” adds Dr Chandrima.  

 

*Name has been changed