7 Ways to Stop Letting Other People Affect You

Are you having an absolutely horrible day? Did your coworker pass a snide comment? Are you caught up in your best friend's drama?

The highs and lows, ups and downs are what make the journey of life a wholesome experience. And, while we may try our hardest to escape the fluctuations, there's really no way out. As social beings, it's inevitable that we establish ties with the other members of our species—seeking approval for our decisions, validation for our opinions, and appreciation for our accomplishments. If not received, we often brood over the 'why' and 'how'.  

While no man has been able to run away from his emotions, most of us are able to strike a healthy balance. The problem, however, arises when other people's stresses and moods begin to impact you negatively. Avoidance, denial, and other defence mechanisms become the way of coping as you hand the remote control of your life in someone else's hands. 

Emotional contagion—the phenomenon of having one person's emotions and related behaviors directly trigger similar emotions and behaviors in other people—must be addressed and dealt with, at the earliest. Ms. Purvi Shah, a psychologist who consults on Practo, tells you the ways in which you can take charge of your own emotions, and limit the impact that others have on your well-being. 

 

1) Take Control of Your Thoughts

 

Remember, the hardest battle of your life is always going to be with yourself. When faced with an important decision, people often tend to worry about the 'if', and end up overthinking the consequences for oneself and others. While this is an innate human tendency, one must realise that any situation can have any possible outcome. Hence, the deliberation will never lead you to be fully prepared. Instead, mentally prepare yourself to deal with whatever is to come your way—good or bad.

 

2) Learn to Take Things With a Pinch of Salt

 

Everyone can't be like you, and you can't be like everyone. Accept that you are wired differently, and that your emotions, thoughts, and actions towards a certain situation are an outcome of the things you have learnt in the past. At the same time, try to view a situation from another person's perspective. While it is easier said than done, if inculcated as a regular practice, it may prove to be healthy for you in the long run.

 

3) Expect the Least and Be Happy

 

A wide range of emotions—such as anger, pain, sadness, and disgust—are triggered due to an expectation or an outcome that does not materialise as per plan. Hence, the best way to shield yourself from these negative emotions and avoid getting upset is to tackle the root cause. Try letting go of some expectations or simply expect less. Low expectation = limited negative reaction. Reducing ‘should's’ and ‘must's’ from your thought process can serve to be a beneficial starting point.

 

4) Be Goal-Oriented

 

When you have a purpose or goal in life, you have a sense of direction. The moment you have something to look forward to, your emotions turn significantly positive and you begin working towards attaining your goals. While having a goal makes your life more meaningful, bear in mind that the goal must be realistic and have a rational perspective!

 

5) Get to Know Yourself Better

 

Self-learning, introspection, and insight suggest that half the battle is won. In the fast-paced life that we lead, we often forget to take a moment to gauge what is important, what deserves our attention, and what requires to be overlooked. The moment we become mindful and aware of ourselves, we begin appreciating the small things, count our blessings, and are grateful. 

 

6) The Power Lies Within You

 

You need to understand that your emotions are wholly your responsibility—a result of your own cognition and though process. So, the moment you begin to have control over them, you will no longer feel perturbed due to others actions. Hence, every time you experience an upsetting emotion, take responsibility for them. In short, the moment you start blaming somebody else for your emotions, you are bound to feel even more upset. Accept that the real power resides in you! Understanding that you are the only person who is in charge of what can and cannot happen to you, can make a world of difference to your well-being. 

 

7) Stop Self Pity

 

The moment you engage in self-pity, exaggerating exactly how miserable your life is, you take away the control  you have over yourself. While it is absolutely okay to not be okay, it is important to allow yourself to experience every emotion. Rather than attempting to push it away, the best way to deal with it is to let it happen and move on. However, when you wallow in self-pity, you are loathing and overlooking the bright side. You begin to compare yourself with others feel stuck because you don’t see your life going anywhere. In such a situation, the best solution is practice gratitude.