10 women share their experiences with dating app burnout

Most of us have been victims of dating app burnout—the endless swiping, the repetitive small talk, the fruitless searching, and even the slight feeling of self-doubt when a match fizzles out. The surge of unhealthy dating trends like ghosting, zombie-ing, and breadcrumbing can also make the process feel excessively draining and mentally taxing. Sometimes it can seem a lot easier to give up, because how do you stick it out long enough to find “the one”? But the modern-day hopeless romantic lives to fight another day, since the odds of meeting someone online are a lot higher than a picturesque meet-cute. 

No app user is immune to burnout: Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, or even Raya. Swiping left and right can quickly leave you feeling fatigued. Yet we’re inherently driven by a mix of optimism and a fear of logging off and missing a shot at meeting someone amazing. While the gamification of dating apps makes it difficult to find a genuine connection, it’s still one of the best ways to meet someone in an increasingly digitally connected yet physically isolated world. 

If you're feeling the toll of dating app burnout, you're not alone. The struggle is real but it can also be combatted. Below 10 women share their experience with dating app burnout, and some tips on how to take a break and cope. 

"I just feel like I got saturated typecasting everybody based on the little information they've chosen to share on their app that they think is the best representation of themselves. It felt reductionist and I got saturated swiping on people like they were reels. I keep having to delete apps for a while just to not feel exhausted" — Prachee, 24.

“The consecutive decisive swiping, unoriginal one-liner openers, dry conversations, and a never-ending roster full of potential 'the one' causes mental fatigue like nothing else. My way of coping with the weariness is to delete the app and take a breather for a couple of weeks. It does me well until a rewatch of my favourite romance period film has me scouring for my own love interest once again” — Shanaya, 22.

“I prefer to power through the burnout without letting it weigh me down. It’s so tough meeting people in real life that dating apps seem like the best bet. The occasional ghosting or fizzling out doesn't bother me anymore, I’ve developed a thick skin and an ‘it is what it is’ attitude to the whole experience at this point– setting realistic expectations from matches has significantly helped” — Ria, 32.

“For me, dating apps have become pretty pointless. It takes a while for me to feel a connection with someone and I generally feel it after spending actual time together. I'm not much of a texting person so to text someone and then actually go out on a couple of dates only to realize there's nothing there, is a little draining. At this point, I just use the apps for the validation and scroll when I'm bored” — Sasha, 21.

“I tend to get burnt out pretty easily on dating apps, it's usually cause all of the men I see just use and say the same things, and even when you give them a chance it never goes beyond the talking stage. To cope with it I just shut my phone off and watch a show to get my mind off of it or read something, usually romance since it helps me sleep” — Mira, 19.

“It’s so easy to get burnt out on dating apps today, especially when it’s so easy to ghost and let connections fizzle out. I’ve found that the best way to cope with it is to take it slow, match with a few people at a time, talk to them, and see how it goes, before moving on to the next lot if needed. I know that makes it sound like a game, but it’s a good way to weed out the mismatches and carry forward the potential connections” — Kristina, 34.

“After a truly disastrous first date left me ready to quit dating apps for good, I decided to give it one more shot. Instead of letting that nightmare define my experience, I embraced the possibility of new beginnings. It paid off—I met the love of my life and we're now engaged. That initial burnout led to the best surprise of all” — Sheena, 27.

“I’ve faced burnout on dating apps mainly due to having lots of expectations. It’s very difficult to meet people online because there’s so much scope for miscommunication. So, to deal with this, I’ve decided not to have any expectations from people I meet on dating apps. If they don’t meet my parameters, I simply don’t engage any further rather than worrying about it. I’ve also decided to try to meet people offline, through friends, social events, bars, etc. So I’m not only dependent on apps” — Anisha, 32.

“Over the past year, I was engaging enthusiastically in dating apps, juggling conversations with various guys while focusing on one person per date. Despite this, most of my dates only made it to a second meeting before fizzling out and the constant cycle of repetitive conversations and failed connections began to wear me down. Just as I reached my tipping point and decided to stop using the apps, I met someone organically (outside of the apps) and we’ve been dating ever since. So I’d say being open to all avenues is key!” — Aditi, 23.

“I've always been cautious about dating apps, and my reservations proved valid. Beyond the difficulty of finding someone with shared interests and values, lucking out on genuine connections is very rare. To remedy the dating app blues, I’ve immersed myself in work, self-care, and personal growth. I also regularly remind myself of the amazing people around me who deserve appreciation, rather than just waiting around to find the one” — Ahana, 20.

Feature image credit: Pexels

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