Is the 'black cat girlfriend and golden retriever boyfriend' theory key to a successful relationship?

“Opposites attract” is an age-old relationship trope that has, more often than not, seen a train of successful relationships. The bracket is fairly large to comprehend the set of traits that define the trope, but TikTok has a theory and we’re here for it. We’re talking about the black cat girlfriend and the golden retriever boyfriend theory.

Now we already know all we need to about the latter. They’re friendly, goofy, fiercely loyal, and simply put, a joy to be around. The black cat, on the other hand, is quite contradictory. No, we’re not saying they’re unfriendly, fickle, or rude. The black cat, much like the animal, is independent, mysterious, and selectively affectionate. The latter may stem from the fact that women who display black cat energy can be introverted, at least in the beginning.

A new dating trend? 

Some may argue that these two clashing personalities might find it difficult to interact, let alone be in a relationship. However, TikTok makes a fair case for the black cat girlfriend and the golden retriever boyfriend theory. The “Golden Retriever Boyfriend” hashtag has 164.8 million views while the “Black Cat Energy” tag has approximately 71.7 million views on TikTok. Now it is important to remember that according to this theory, it only works when the girlfriend is the one with the black cat energy and the boyfriend, is the golden retriever.

The trend includes numerous videos where couples depict their relationships through this lens, often highlighting the contrast in their personalities and how these dynamics play out in daily life. Needless to say, the internet was divided on this theory. While most people agree on the success rate of opposites attract, the theory of an aloof but independent woman and a friendly, goofy man making it work in the long run was met with despair.

Breaking down the archetypes   

Golden retrievers as animals are very friendly, loyal, and high on energy. They have a childlike nature, they lack judgement. They don’t have an attitude problem. Similarly, when we compare the golden retriever personality to a human being, specifically men in this case, then the human counterparts are very helpful, warm-hearted, loving, compassionate, expressive, loyal, and kind.

Black cats on the other hand are introverted and shy; they think before reacting and don’t like too much attention. There’s a depth about them. They are secretive, but they are also loyal. Similarly, their human counterparts are reserved, introverted, and very resilient. They are also shy. And though they take time to open up, once they do make friends and establish relationships, they can be fiercely loyal and protective of those relationships. 

The theory is flawed but here’s why it could work

The appeal of opposites attracting in relationships lies in the inherent balance and growth such dynamics can foster. When two people with contrasting traits come together, they can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, creating a more holistic and well-rounded partnership. This phenomenon is often explained by the complementary needs theory, which suggests that individuals are drawn to partners who possess qualities they lack but desire. For instance, a reserved individual may be attracted to an outgoing partner, finding their sociability and energy appealing and enriching.

Being with someone different can challenge one’s perspectives, encouraging adaptability and new ways of thinking. This dynamic can lead to personal development, as partners learn from each other and expand their comfort zones.

Moreover, the contrast in personalities can create a balanced relationship. For example, a pragmatic person paired with a dreamer can combine practicality with creativity, making decisions that are both innovative and feasible. This balance helps in managing life’s challenges more effectively, as each partner brings unique strengths to the table.

In essence, relationships between opposites can be fulfilling because they provide a complementary and synergistic dynamic, fostering mutual growth and balance that might be less prevalent in more similar pairings.

Would it work if the archetypes were reversed? 

One intriguing question remains: what if the roles were reversed? Now cinema has given us countless narratives of the opposites attract trope, 90 per cent of which portrayed relationships where the girlfriend is the golden retriever and the man, the black cat. The optimistic, chatty girl and the introverted, serious, and occasionally snooty boyfriend are a relationship trope that thrives on-screen. And while cinematically, these were close to perfect relationships, many people believe these may not be as successful in real life. 

There is a possibility that the chatty girl would eventually wear out the man. He might get bored or annoyed and grow distant. Or they may end up balancing each other's personalities. Maybe he'd learn to let loose a little! What do you think?

Inputs from Sohini Rohra, counselling psychologist and mental health advocate.

Lead image credit: Netflix 

Also read: 7 signs your partner radiates ‘golden retriever energy’

Also read: Would you be jealous if your boyfriend has a girl bestie?