Is the principle of 50-50 really the one-stop solution to every relationship problem ever?

Imagine a perfectly balanced relationship where everything from household chores and financial contributions to emotional support in times of personal crises is perfectly divided, 50 per cent for each partner. Sounds like the perfect formula for a relationship, doesn’t it? After all, relationships should be about equal effort. But does the principle of 50-50 apply to modern couples? Let's weigh the pros and cons. 

Pros 

Fairness and equality

The principle of a 50-50 relationship, where both partners offer equal support and effort in any and every aspect, has to be one of the biggest advantages. Imagine you and your partner dividing your household chores equally, where you take over the duty on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays while your partner handles the chores on the other days. This arrangement ensures both of you have enough time to rest and rejuvenate and avoid overburdening yourselves. Moreover, dividing the chores equally allows you both to feel responsible and valued. It's a well-balanced approach, isn’t it?

Balanced emotional support and labour

The best part about a relationship that relies on the 50-50 principle is that the emotional burdens and stress can be divided just as well, ensuring no one feels neglected. Say you had a bad day at work and feel emotionally drained. Your partner notices this and makes a conscious effort to help you feel better. It works both ways. The 50-50 principle is a boon in such situations, as it ensures that both partners share their experiences freely with one another and support each other in tough times, no matter what.

Healthy communication and problem-solving

If you follow the 50-50 principle in a relationship, you may be able to look at your problems from a healthier perspective. It can help limit arguments about who puts in more effort. If an argument about an unbalanced division of physical or mental labour arises, both partners can sit down together and list down their strengths so that the tasks can be divided fairly. 

Cons

Unrealistic expectations

Now, the 50-50 principle can be quite alluring when it comes to the idea of a perfectly balanced relationship. However, it is important to know that relationships are very fluid in real life, and blindly relying on the 50-50 principle can do more harm than good. For instance, if your partner is having a tough time financially, your insisting on splitting finances equally could evoke feelings of resentment in your relationship, and you might come across as unempathetic to your partner.

Avoiding life’s ever-changing nature

It is very important to connect with your partner emotionally and understand their circumstances. Real life is very unpredictable, which is exactly why blindly relying on a 50-50 approach, when it comes to relationships, is not sustainable. Imagine your partner gets promoted at work, which increases their workload thus creating emotional distress. Your insisting on them doing things a certain way might only add to that distress, which can then lead to arguments and resentment.

Neglection of emotional connection

While dividing everything equally can seem like the best way to go about a relationship, it can lead to a lack of emotional connection. If every little task gets divided “perfectly”, then every day starts to become monotonous and feel like more of a task, diminishing the very essence of a loving relationship where both partners do things selflessly for one another as an act of love and care.

Lead image and all images: Pexels

Also read: How to reconnect with your partner after becoming a parent

Also read: I stayed in a situationship for way too long and here’s what I learnt