Is ChatGPT the answer to your relationship problems?

There was once a girl who shifted cities to start college. She was charming, attractive, and bright; and caught the attention of one of the handsome guys in class right away. He was 21, a well-liked and intelligent fellow who also happened to play football. On her first day, she sat next to him, just like what you’d expect in a typical rom-com. In the coming weeks, they talked, went to parties together, helped each other out with assignments, giggled in between classes, and shared intimate secrets.

Everything was perfectly fine until one cold day...he started avoiding her, telling her that he was up to his ears and would meet her soon—but he never did. In all her frenzy and panic, I met her over lunch and heard her rant about her relationship and how she was ghosted by a man she thought was in love with her. All I wanted was to simplify her problem (and I wish it took just one Google, perhaps Quora, search to do so).

I reached home that day and thought to myself: Could Chat GPT help save her relationship? Can we start relying on Artificial Intelligence (AI) more than our conscience and emotional quotient?

Ahead of my deep dive into this experiment, I reached out to Myra* and Kabir* who are experiencing issues in both their respective relationships; and to sort it out, I asked them to seek solutions from ChatGPT. The problem Myra was facing was how close her boyfriend’s female friend was with him. “I am insecure because she liked him a few years ago, and from the looks of it, she still does. Her proximity with him always makes me uncomfortable,” she adds. As she wrote down this problem, ChatGPT promptly gave her seven solutions to follow through the week.

Day 1: Self-Reflection—Reflect on your feelings and understand why her closeness bothers you and identify underlying reasons causing discomfort.

Day 2: Open Conversation—Initiate an honest and calm conversation with your boyfriend, express your feelings about his friendship without accusing and blaming.

Day 3: Get to Know Her—Spend some time with her (the friend) and get to know her better, to understand her intentions.

Day 4: Set Boundaries—Agree upon certain boundaries that make you feel comfortable within the context of his friendship with her.

Day 5: Focus on Trust—Reflect on your trust in your boyfriend and remind yourself of the reasons why you trust him and reaffirm your confidence in your bond.

Day 6: Strengthen your Connection—Spend quality time together, focus on activities that reinforce your bond.

Day 7: Reassess and Communicate—Discuss any progress and address any lingering concerts, and reaffirm your commitment to working through this together.

As daunting as these solutions seem, Myra decided to implement them. “The first day, I sat and reflected on why I felt uncomfortable, and I know that her liking for him hasn’t diminished over the years. The second day, I spoke to him calmly about my insecurity, although he acknowledged my concerns, asserting he treats her platonically but I don’t see it.” The conversation eventually escalated into an argument, prompting Myra to discontinue it.

The third day, she texted her boyfriend’s friend with an open mind but tensions persisted. Her gut feeling suggested that something was amiss. Unfortunately, the interaction only intensified her overthinking, worsening her feelings about the situation.

On the fourth day, Myra and her boyfriend established boundaries: he agreed not to share their relationship details with his friend, and they discussed triggers for her insecurity, defining boundaries for reassurance and respect.

On the fifth day, she reminded herself of her trust in her boyfriend. While generally she is happy and secure with him, the lack of trust in the other girl caused Myra doubt and made her uneasy.

Myra enjoyed the sixth day with her boyfriend at the mall, eating their favourite meal at ‘their’ spot. It was a pleasant break from discussing the girl that caused her doubts.

Ultimately, on the seventh day, they discussed the progress but Myra felt that this practice didn’t help her. She expressed, “I don’t think my actions this week helped. I still have the same insecurity.” Kabir—the second person who I reached out to—has been in a relationship for the past six months. His concern centred around the feeling that his girlfriend dedicates less quality time to the relationship. Seeking help, ChatGPT suggests seven tasks to fix his relationship issue.

Day 1: Initiate a Conversation—Start by expressing your feelings openly and honestly without blame.

Day 2: Active Listening—Ask your partner about their perspective and express your willingness to find a balance suitable for both.

Day 3: Schedule Quality Time—Plan specific moments in the week dedicated to spending time together.

Day 4: Discuss Priorities—Have an open dialogue about your priorities, and compromise to create more time for each other.

Day 5: Support their Schedule—Understand and support your partner’s commitments while encouraging to find a balance between work, rest, et al.

Day 6: Show Appreciation—Acknowledge the efforts your partner takes, this can encourage more interaction.

Day 7: Explore Joint Activities—Find common interests or hobbies you both enjoy and schedule time to do these together.

Kabir implemented these suggestions for the next seven days. The first day, he expressed a desire for more quality time. While respecting her commitments, they discussed finding a balance, aligning on managing time effectively for both work and personal life.

The next day, Kabir practised active listening, seeking a deeper understanding of her perspective. However, he sensed defensive responses rather than thorough explanations.

By the third day, he observed a subtle improvement as she reduced her contact with friends. Kabir saw it as a positive step, appreciating her dedicated efforts in moving forward.

On the fourth day, he revisited his concerns with her, dedicating more quality time and reevaluating their schedules. Despite this, he somewhat sensed that ongoing discussions weren’t resolving much.

By the fifth day, Kabir found the proposed solution somewhat foolish. Having always backed her schedule, he was confused about how this would contribute to resolving the situation.

The last two days, as Kabir expressed “ChatGPT was not the best idea here! I tried everything but this clearly didn’t work out.”

As my quest to discover if AI could salvage these two relationships ended, the verdict was: AI, possibly, CAN’T save your relationship (at least not right now). While debates on AI replacing humans persist, the fact remains—no matter how intelligent these bots become, they can never substitute a human with emotions.

Also Read: How to turn a situationship into a real relationship

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