150 dirty pickup lines that’ll filth up *any* convo

Dirty pickup lines, while a little cheesy, can be just the thing you need to get a sexy conversation going. They’re flirty, direct, and hilarious, and everyone knows nothing is hotter than a strong sense of humour. But while these short and funny sentences are a handy secret weapon, they can also go south real quick if not delivered with caution. What does that mean, exactly? We’ll explain.

Dirty pickup lines are, obvi, sexual, and if you use one as a first approach—say, to a hottie in person or a match on. Dating app—you’re not giving that person the opportunity to enthusiastically consent. And the last thing you want to do is make anyone feel uncomfortable! Our advice: Skip them as literal “pickup” lines (save cute, cheesy ones for that) and, instead, use them on an established hookup buddy, situationship, or partner as a way to make them laugh, turn a text convo into a steamy sex convo or let them know exactly what you want to do together later. There’s no way they won’t get the message, trust.

Another thing to consider is the person’s sense of humor. Are they romantic? Silly? Are they into nicknames? Or dirty jokes? Are they at work and probs not in a position to receive a dirty pickup line or naughty pic? You get the gist. Suss out the vibes before hitting send!

PG-Rated Dirty Pickup Lines

• Are you a magnet? Because you’re doing a great job at attracting me.
• Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
• You look cold, want to use me as a blanket?
• Dinner first, or should we go straight to dessert?
• Do you know how to stop, drop, and roll? Because baby, you’re on fire.
• Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you’re looking pretty sweet.
• Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you’re looking like a snack.
• Are you a pie? Because I’d like a piece of you.
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you’re fine.
• Aside from being hot, what do you do for a living?
• Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re burning hot.
• Sorry—were you talking to me? No? Would you like to?
• Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
• Aside from being extremely hot, what else do you do for a living?
• Did you escape from jail? Because it’s definitely illegal to look this good.
• You must be so tired from running through my mind all night.
• Is your name Chamomile? Because you look like a hot-tea.
• I feel like I’m getting a tan just standing here because you’re so scorching.
• Does my tongue taste funny to you?
• If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.
• Does your name start with “C”? Because I can “C” us getting together tonight.
• Is it hot in here or is it just you?
• Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging your look.
• Wanna help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?
• You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My face.
• You look like a tall drink of water, and I’m parched.
• I called heaven asking for an angel, but I was hoping they’d send a devil like you instead.
• Do you feel sick? Because I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.
• I volunteer as your victim tonight since you're clearly dressed to kill.
• Your lips look lonely. How about I introduce them to mine?
• Toss me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.
• Are you the syllabus? Because I have been studying you like crazy.
• You’re so hot, you make the equator look like the North Pole.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
• I’ve been feeling a little lifeless lately—would you give me mouth-to-mouth?
• I watched a documentary that said lips are the most sensitive part of the body, wanna find out if that’s true?

 

PG-13 Pickup Lines

• I’d give up my cereal to spoon you instead.
• Do you work at Dick’s? Because you’re sporting the goods.
• They say kissing is the language of love—wanna start a conversation?
• Is your car battery dead? Because I’d really like to jump you.
• Do you have sunscreen? Because you’re burning me up.
• Can you tell me what time you’ll be back at my place?
• Your body is 70 percent water, and I’m parched.
• I was feeling off today but you just totally turned me on.
• I was feeling a little off today, but you’ve turned me on again.
• I love your shirt, can I try it on in the morning?
• Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.
• We were born without clothes! Let’s go back to the old days.
• Nice pants. Can I talk you out of them?
• Let’s make a deal: I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
• Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good "Karma" Sutra positions we can try.
• Is your body a map? Because I love to travel.
• What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
• You’re so sexy, my zipper is falling for you.
• I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
• Wanna commit a sin for your next confession?
• Your belt looks really tight. Can I loosen it for you?
• I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
• You look great in that outfit, but I bet you’d look even better in your birthday suit.
• Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
• I’ve been super on top of things lately. Would you like to be one of them?
• Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
• Pretend I’m a pirate and give me that booty.
• Those jeans look really good on you, but you know what would look even better? Me.
• I can’t fall asleep by myself…can you sleep with me?
• I love your shirt, can I see what it's made from? *Checks tag* That’s what I thought, 100 percent hookup buddy material.
• Were your parents bakers? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
• I’ll flip a coin…whichever side it lands on is what you’ll get tonight.
• You have a great smile, but it would look even better if that’s all you were wearing.
• Do I know you from somewhere? I don’t think I recognize you with all your clothes on.
• Are those jeans from Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside them?
• If I buy you dinner, will you be dessert?
• There’s a big sale at my house right now—clothes are 100 percent off.
• R-Rated Pickup Lines
• Are you Little Caesars? Because you’re hot and I’m ready.
• I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
• I’m having trouble sleeping by myself. Can you help?
• Your clothes look uncomfortable. Let me help you out of them.
• I actually have a condom that’s about to expire—want to help me put it to good use?
• If you look this good in clothes I can’t imagine how good you’ll look out of them.
• Are you a rubix cube? Because the more I play with you the harder you get.
• Pizza is my second-favorite thing to eat in bed.
• I can tell you're into yoga. Want to show me how flexible you are?
• Are you a blanket? Because I love when you’re on top of me.
• Sorry to bother you but: Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
• Don’t ever change. Okay? Just get naked.
• Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
• Just checked my phone battery, and it’s at 69 percent.
• Is that some Halloween candy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• If I was a judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.
• What are you doing tonight besides me?
• I love your outfit. I would love it even more crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.
• Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cuming soon.
• I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.
• Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.
• Are you a Slytherin? Because I really want you to slither into my Chamber of Secrets.
• Are you a light switch? Because you really turn me on.
• I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
• Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
• I’ve been trying to conserve more water…wanna shower together?
• I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
• Are you a woodchuck? Because I can totally see your wood.
• If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tonight.
• Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
• Want to go halfsies on making a baby?
• Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, even though I definitely should be.
• Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
• You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
• What time do you get off? Can I watch?
• Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
• I need a good place to think. Can I sit on your lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up?
• You’re on my to-do list tonight.
• Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.

 

XXX Pickup Lines

• Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m inside you/you’re inside me.
• Do I have to sign for your package?
• Remind me your name? Just want to make sure I’m screaming the right one tonight.
• Did my invite to the party in your pants get lost in the mail?
• I might not go down in history, but I’ll happily go down on you.
• Just letting you know: I’m a psychic and we’re definitely going go f*ck.
• I know at least three ways to make six inches disappear.
• Do you want to see a movie, or do you want to make one?
• Can you do telekinesis? Because you made a part of me move without even touching it.
• Let only latex stand between us.
• I must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood.
• Can you tell me what time your legs open, please?
• My nickname is dishes, because I want you to get me wet then do me.
• I’m really good at math, so let’s add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply.
• I’m an archaeologist. Do you have a large bone you’d like me to examine?
• My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and fix that for me?
• I’m like a snowflake: beautiful, unique, and with one touch, you’ll feel how wet I am.
• Can you poke my belly button…from the inside?
• I’m training to be an astronaut, and my first mission is to explore Uranus.
• Would you kiss me in the rain? I want to get twice as wet.
• I’m so hungry for chicken, do you have any? No? What about cock?
• Let’s play carpenter so I can nail you.
• There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK.
• Are your legs tired? Because as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
• If you were a balloon, I’d totally blow you.
• I’d love to get on my knees and show you my best donut smile.
• I’m not a weather man, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
• Are you a firefighter? Because you make me hot and leave me wet.
• Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?
• If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
• The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f*ck you on the floor.
• I’d love to kiss your luscious lips…and then the ones on your face.
• I’m a tortilla, I want you to flip me over and eat me out.
• That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
• I’m not really into watching sunsets, but I sure would love to watch you go down.
• If I were you, I’d have sex with me.

Image credits: Pexels

Credit: Cosmopolitan USA

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