Why saying 'no' is the ultimate form of self-care

In a world where you often feel pressured to toe the line and be politically correct and diplomatic, saying no can be surprisingly difficult. It’s not just about rejecting a request, but putting your foot down, believing in your values and boundaries, and prioritising your self-worth above all else. By saying no, you are taking care and focusing on yourself and what’s important to you. It’s a transformative experience that can lead a more balanced and fulfilling life. Here’s why saying no is important. 

You protect your time and energy

When you say yes, you’re committing your time, energy, and other resources to that assignment. You spread yourself too thin which can drain you physically, emotionally, and mentally, leading to burnout. But saying no, you save those things for what matters to you the most. 

You get to draw boundaries

Saying no lets people know what you can/will do and what you won’t—what's okay and what's not okay. It’s important to respect your limitations and not go out of your way to do something you have to, but don't want to. Boundaries are important for your emotional and mental well-being as they help you draw the line without feeling guilty or obligated. From a self-care perspective, it is important to recognise that our needs and values are important as well. It doesn't mean that you're mean and selfish. It just means that you're taking care of yourself along with everything else on your plate. You then show up as a better person, be it professionally or personally, as you're not overburdened. 

It reduces keeps you from being overwhelmed

Too much of a good thing is bad. When you say yes to everything, you’re biting off more than you can chew, leading to immense stress, burnout, and in some cases, regret. This is not healthy for anybody. Saying no allows you to manage your workload, protects your mental health along with enhancing your overall productivity and focus. 

You develop authentic relationships

Communicating your needs and expectations, by saying no fosters a space where genuine connections are formed. This results in healthy relationships where both partners know and respect each other’s limits and boundaries. It helps the other person understand where you're coming from. You're not denying them anything. It gives them some perspective on how you're operating in a particular situation. This reduces any misunderstanding.   

Offers immense clarity and increases confidence

Saying no encourages the person to assess their values, priorities, and what truly brings them joy. Doing so leads to greater self-awareness and a clearer understanding of your personal goals. Furthermore, saying no works a great deal in giving your confidence a much-needed boost for you have now asserted what you want and what you don’t. Such assertiveness also results in you making better decisions in your life. 

Fosters a sense of self-worth

For people who have people-pleasing tendencies, or struggle with perfectionism, saying no can feel very daunting as they want to avoid conflict. When you say no, you can strengthen your self-esteem. It takes you a step forward towards valuing your own needs and understanding your own self. This increases your self-image and makes you less dependent on external factors. 

By saying no, you are saying yes

When one door closes, the other opens. By freeing up your time and energy, you can say yes to things that you are really looking forward to trying out. Be it new projects, relationships, or experiences, it could be anything that aligns with your passions. You are prioritising yourself, which is so much better. 

Remember, that at the end of the day, every time you say no, you’re saying yes to yourself. 

Inputs by Mehezabin Dordi, clinical psychologist, Sir HN Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai

Lead image: Amazon Prime Video

Also read: How you can effectively manage conflicts at the workplace

Also read: Taking a mental health day off: A necessity or a luxury?