What is causing online dating fatigue and how to not let it ruin your experience?

Love in the digital age revolves around dating apps. Feeling single and lonely? Swipe right. Feeling bored? Swipe right. Stuck at work and need a break? Pick up your phone and swipe right. Dating apps fill us with hopes and expectations for a potential relationship, which can often be overwhelming. Oftentimes, the seemingly endless cycle of swiping, matching, and messaging can lead to online dating burnout. And this state of emotional and mental exhaustion can leave users feeling discouraged, cynical, and ultimately, less likely to find meaningful connections. 

So how does this happen?

Too many choices

Dating apps today, have an overwhelming number of profiles, which can lead to decision fatigue, thus making it difficult to form meaningful connections. For most people, it can feel like an endless cycle of fruitless first dates.

Resolution: Start priori-dating, which means being aware and mindful of what you're looking for and eliminating options that don't fit the bill. Diving into the dating scene and seeing what comes your way just won't cut anymore.

The instability of it all

Ghosting is the new way of saying “no”. Being ghosted can lead to feelings of rejection, confusion, anxiety, and even depression. Not only can it lower one's self-esteem but it can also make it harder to trust future partners. And so, trying and getting ghosted over and over again becomes extremely tiring and frustrating, leading to burnout.

Resolution: You cannot control the actions of others. If they want to ghost you, they probably will. Instead of focusing on why it happened, practise self-love and detached dating so that their validation (or a lack of it) makes no difference to how you see yourself. 

Unrealistic expectations

Online dating profiles are like a showcase, where people pick and choose what to show. This often makes things seem far better than they actually are, and that’s where the problem comes in! Based on this selective information they provide, we end up visualising our potential partner to be perfect. But when you meet them in real life, things don't seem to be what you expect. And this difference, between what's imagined and what's real, can make you feel disappointed and tired of dating apps.

Resolution: When it comes to dating apps, it's best to have zero expectations. It doesn't mean you settle for less; just priori-date and filter, and by the time you meet them, you'll have an idea of what they're like in person. If they are absolutely not worth your time, make an early exit. 

The pressure of giving time and energy

Constantly checking for messages and new matches on dating apps can turn into a habit that's hard to break. The constant notifications and pressure to maintain conversations can be overwhelming, blurring the lines between your personal and dating life. It's like a vicious cycle that will inevitably lead to burnout.

Resolution: Pick one or two matches, whom you like best, and hold a conversation with them during the day. As for the rest of them, a few minutes every day should suffice. And if you ever feel like the conversation is getting repetitive, play a fun Q&A game!