We love Noah from ‘Nobody Wants This’ for his wholesome apologies minus the gaslighting BS

Every now and then, a fictional character enters our lives and leaves us in absolute awe. I grew up watching Friends, and like many others, for me, it was Chandler. While I’d say nobody can beat Chandler—flawed yet capable of so much honest love—some new characters have left an impression too. This weekend, after hearing all my girlfriends gush over Noah (Adam Brody) from Nobody Wants This, I decided to watch it too.

If you go on Reddit, you’ll see how people are going crazy over a man who exhibits a few things women always seek: communication, understanding, and courage. If you think about it, we’re not asking for the moon and the stars but for the basics. While many women have to work around the absence of these traits and patiently wait for their partners to improve, in this series, it was served on a platter. I can say, collectively, it felt like a lot less work.

But guess what truly makes Noah the man of our (we’re with you, Joanne) dreams? It’s not the fact that he got huge sunflowers for Joanne’s mother or that he successfully made a comeback after giving her the ick. It’s how he apologises to her. That’s what makes everything okay. No, he’s not perfect. He messed up several times in the series and made her feel not-so-great about herself. Women are rational beings; we don’t expect you never to make a mistake. What matters is how you handle it when we express our feelings to you. Do you give us a hard time trying to justify our emotions, or do you try to understand, and validate how we feel, and deliver a genuine apology?

For instance, remember when Joanne waited outside the temple long enough to think Noah didn’t want her there? Or when they went camping, and he called her a “friend” (ouch)? Or when he stopped replying to her texts after they shared a kiss? You might not have been in these exact situations—honestly, waiting for a guy outside a religious site while he’s ambushed by mothers presenting their daughters to him is quite unique—but I’m sure you’ve felt what she felt then. You put your vulnerabilities out there, made yourself available, and felt unwanted. You might have felt ridiculed when you crossed oceans for a guy, only to feel like you made a fool of yourself. So we completely understand how she felt… and the best part is, so does he.

Noah didn’t try to gaslight her or get defensive. Instead, he validated her feelings, admitting it was uncool and acknowledging that it must have hurt. He didn’t make her fight to justify her emotions or leave her confused about why it was so hard for him to understand. He apologised—without a shred of ego getting in the way.

And this is what we want: to be understood, not questioned if it’s "that time of the month" or made to feel like we’re in a courtroom proving we’re not PMSing when hurt. The power of a genuine apology is so underrated; it can make everything okay. It can make us feel safe and secure enough to be our true, vulnerable selves with you.

The reason the fights never escalated is that Noah didn’t exhaust Joanne by gaslighting her whenever she felt hurt. So, Noah, you may not know that wearing a sports coat with a pair of shorts and a hoodie is absolutely brutal, but he knows how to apologise, and we can live with that.

Lead image credit: Netflix

*Views expressed in the article are solely of its author.

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