Vulnerability on social media is great but it also has a darker side

A casual scroll through Instagram today reveals a torrent of tearful confessions—posts and videos where both strangers and celebrities lay bare their struggles with breakups, mental health battles, and personal challenges. These candid glimpses of vulnerability, often accompanied by crying selfies or emotional live streams, resonate deeply with audiences. Widely liked, reshared, and dissected in the comments, they have become symbols of collective validation, a shared space where raw emotions find connection.

This wave of openness gained traction in 2021 when high-profile figures like Lizzo, Megan Thee Stallion, and Dua Lipa turned to Instagram Live to share unfiltered glimpses of their personal pain. American supermodel Bella Hadid further propelled the trend with crying selfies, offering an intimate window into her ongoing battle with mental health.

Why audiences crave raw emotion

Charu Prabhakar, a clinical psychologist at Lissun, a mental health platform, believes this phenomenon reflects a broader cultural shift. “Attitudes toward mental health are transforming globally, encouraging people to be more vocal about their struggles,” she explains. “While the expression and triggers of pain may differ, the human experience of suffering remains universal. Evolutionarily, humans seek similarities in others—finding shared struggles fosters a sense of belonging.”

This inherent need for connection, amplified by the reach of social media, makes such content deeply compelling. “It doesn’t just capture attention; it invites engagement,” Prabhakar notes. “Audiences feel validated, seen, and connected, creating a cycle of vulnerability and response that feels profoundly human.”

Cyber expert Anil Ramachalla takes it a step further, noting how this craving for authenticity is reshaping social media itself. “Today, emotions have become a commodity. A video of someone crying will often double its likes almost instantly. People are now seeking the rawness of life—something that felt absent for years in the curated perfection of online spaces.”

A 2017 study published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences lends further weight to this argument. Titled Emotion Shapes the Diffusion of Moralized Content in Social Networks, it hypothesized—and confirmed—that moral emotions significantly increase the likelihood of a message going viral.

Researchers at the Center for Humane Technology state, “Social rejection hurts in the same way physical pain can hurt. Consequently, we experience strong pressure to conform. Software algorithms learn about our preferences, customising and curating the information we receive. In our online bubbles, deviating from the party line carries serious social risk.”

However, Ramachalla points out a darker edge to this trend: “Some content creators are not just sharing experiences; they’re selling emotional relatability. A post about anxiety, for example, might feature trembling hands or tearful breakdowns—and it’s often tied to endorsements for therapists, wellness retreats, or self-help products. Vulnerability, in these cases, becomes a marketing tool.”

Advait Bhatia (name changed), a content creator with over 100,000 followers, describes the performative aspect of these displays. “Crying is natural, but when you’re in the middle of a meltdown and still manage to pick up your phone to record it, it becomes performative,” he says. Bhatia admits that partnerships with wellness brands often require making content as emotionally gripping as possible. “A video of me narrating my story—like a breakup—gets far less engagement than a tearful clip of me crying in the bathroom,” he explains.

 

Walking the tightrope

Normalising vulnerability as a commodity raises critical questions about its societal impact, particularly for younger generations immersed in a culture of performative openness. As a society, we are witnessing a paradigm shift, moving away from an era where vulnerabilities were confronted in isolation. This shift has both advantages and drawbacks.

Prabhakar explains, “On the positive side, open conversations about vulnerability can foster greater societal awareness of unspoken struggles and provide guidance on navigating them. Such discourse has the potential to challenge systemic flaws and spark meaningful reforms. However, the risks cannot be ignored. Personal anecdotes, when commodified, may be exploited for individual gain or misinterpreted as universal truths. It becomes crucial for content creators to contextualize their experiences as subjective and avoid generalizations. Similarly, consumers of such content bear a responsibility to engage with these narratives critically and rationally.”

The commodification of vulnerability also carries emotional risks. For some, exposure to such content may be triggering, underscoring the importance of including trigger warnings for sensitive material. “While sharing vulnerabilities on public platforms comes with inherent costs—for both creators and consumers—the overall benefits, such as greater empathy and awareness, arguably outweigh these challenges,” she adds.

Trauma is a deeply personal journey, shaped by an individual's unique life experiences. What one person finds traumatic might not be the same for another—it could stem from the loss of a parent or friend, the weight of unfulfilled goals, or simply feeling emotionally low. Trauma, at its core, represents an intense and inward emotional struggle. Addressing it often requires a combination of personal reflection, support from close family and friends, and, in some cases, professional help.

Dr Sujatha Rajamani, Consultant Psychiatrist at KIMS Hospitals, Hyderabad, quips, “The term 'trauma' has increasingly become a buzzword, especially in public and media discourse. For some celebrities, sharing personal stories of trauma can serve as a way to garner attention. While such accounts may resonate deeply with audiences—many of whom have faced similar challenges—the underlying motive can sometimes seem calculated. Celebrities, after all, often operate in a space where being in the limelight is paramount. Positive or negative attention can equally serve their purpose, much like a child who learns that crying elicits a faster response than other behaviours.”

That said, those who truly understand the profound nature of trauma recognize it as a journey of inner growth. Dr Rajamani adds, “Healing is not about external validation but about resolving pain from within, a process that requires resilience, introspection, and, ultimately, self-evolution.”

In today's world, where media saturation encourages people to share every aspect of their lives, we often begin associating ourselves with certain narratives, even labelling ourselves: "I am anxious," or "I am depressed." While self-awareness is valuable, self-labelling can sometimes intensify feelings of inadequacy or despair.

Dr Rajamani says, “Relying on online validation from people who don’t understand your journey can be counterproductive. Instead, fostering open communication within families and communities is vital. Trusted adults can provide the guidance and perspective needed to navigate life’s difficulties without the risk of judgment or harmful comparisons".

 

 

Are we consuming or connecting?

Ashok Kumar, an independent sociologist from Delhi, believes that many creators misjudge the audience’s response. “Those who post tearful breakdowns or other emotional content often believe they’re forging a deep connection with their viewers. But that’s rarely the case,” he says.

Kumar argues that viewers, often multitasking while consuming content, engage with it only superficially. “A breakup meltdown video might momentarily disturb us, but it doesn’t leave a lasting impact. We’ve grown desensitized, scrolling past pain as quickly as we encounter it.”

Humans have a natural limit to their capacity for emotional connection, a phenomenon often referred to as the "Dunbar effect." Sociological studies indicate that people can maintain genuine emotional bonds with roughly 150 individuals, usually those within close social circles. When confronted with suffering or hardship from distant parts of the world, our response tends to be more intellectual than emotional. While we may attempt to understand or picture the pain of others, it often lacks the visceral intensity we reserve for those we know personally.

Kumar also highlights that for Gen Z especially this validation-seeking and self-labeling has become common. “The millennials know that social media is a bubble as they have seen life without social media platforms but the generation who has social media at their disposal is unable to process things. They are just seeking validation of their emotions ”

Kumar also highlights that for Gen Z, validation-seeking and self-labelling have become increasingly common. “Millennials understand that social media is a bubble because they’ve seen life without it. But for Gen Z, who have always had social media at their disposal, processing emotions has become less about introspection and more about seeking validation for their feelings,” he says.

Lead image: Pexels

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