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Signs it is time to let go of your relationship

Sometimes love isn’t enough. 

Nov 3, 2023
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Remember how Rory Gilmore in the Gilmore Girls' mini-sequel, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life has a boyfriend she keeps forgetting about? And how she can’t seem to break up with him because she doesn’t have the time to and he’s such a nice person? Well, if you’re also stuck in a relationship that isn’t moving forward, we’re here to tell you that it’s time to let go, however difficult it may be. Signs that you should move on aren’t always on the nose, sometimes they can be subtle and linger in the background. When staying can only lead to more drama and do more harm than good, it’s time you pulled the cord on your relationship. Below, discover five signs that indicate that it's time to call it quits. 

You’re in the relationship out of obligation


When we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, we sometimes end up staying in it even if we don’t want to, out of sheer politeness or because we’ve already invested enough time and effort. But, it’s important to realise that time doesn’t guarantee a successful relationship—no matter how long you’ve dated the other person, if both of you are not working out your problems together or working towards the relationship, then you should consider leaving. And if you’re staying simply because you don’t want to be unkind or rude to them, know that by forcing yourself to be in the relationship, you’re robbing both of you of the chance at being truly happy. 

They’re not the first person you tell good news to

Say, you’ve just got a promotion at work, got hard-to-cop tickets to a concert, or have a juicy piece of gossip you’ve been dying to tell, who do reach out to first? If it is not your partner, then maybe you should think about why they’re not your go-to person. If at one point in your relationship you instantly thought of them and wanted to share everything with them and that is no longer the case now, try to understand why it has changed. 

You both have different expectations and needs


The truth is that people change and grow, and when your current version doesn’t align with their expectations and vice versa, it can be challenging for your relationship. Differences in expectations are not going to iron themselves out, and it’s unlikely they will change in the long term. If you can’t come to an understanding with someone on what your expectations are for each other, it's a glaring sign. It’s always better to let go of the relationship instead of staying and hoping things will change because you’ll end up resenting your partner. 

You feel drained around your partner

If spending time with your partner leaves you feeling tired, exhausted or negative, then maybe they’re not the right person for you. It’s important to understand that this doesn’t mean that they’re not a good person, only that ending the relationship means you can date someone who actually makes you happy and energised. 

You’re not on the same page when it comes to long-term goals

Even though you are happy and satisfied in your relationship, it’s important to discuss your life goals with your partner to see if they align, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship and intend to spend your life with them. For instance, it could be about marrying, wanting kids or even career aspirations. If they don’t want to marry but you do, or they want kids but not in the same timeline as yours, it is worth reconsidering your relationship because it is only going to lead to frustration and disappointment in the end. 

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