Have you been noticing minor glitches or outright problems in your life? It’s probably because we're right in the middle of the first Mercury Retrograde of 2024 (fortunately there are only five more days to go). You don’t have to be a staunch believer of astrology, but the effects are here to see. But what really is Mercury Retrograde? Mercury orbits around the sun much faster than Earth, it makes numerous laps during our one lap. And every time the foremost planet is catching up to us or passing us, it creates an optical illusion of it going backwards in its orbit.
In astrology, Mercury is associated with communication, cognition, and logic. And so, when it is in retrograde, all of these notions are shrouded in mayhem. In the bargain, romantic relationships are impacted too. From misunderstandings and arguments, to your sexual connection being completely out of sync, it can feel like nothing is going right and no crystal or sage burning is going to make it stop. All we can do is ride out the rocky wave and hope it doesn’t do any severe damage.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for ways to still enjoy your sex life despite these frustrating effects of the retrograde, we’ve rounded up a few tips you need to keep in mind. Start taking notes!
Stick to tried and tested positions
If you’re thinking of trying something new to spice up your game between the sheets, hold off until Mercury stops retrograding. It's best to stick to the classic positions during this period. We're talking missionary, cowgirl, or whatever position you have perfected to the point that you can do them blindfolded. Okay, we don't mean that literally. Remember that you may be overly susceptible to a sex-related injury during a Mercury Retrograde. So if you don’t want to practice abstinence until it's over, stick to what you’re sure about.
If you think that scheduling sex will take the fun out of it, think again. Let us remind you, that you’re smack in the middle of a Mercury Retrograde and the planet is looking for reasons to mess your life up. Its modus operandi is to mess with your communication channels and wavelengths that might lead to fights instead of the raunchy sessions you had in mind. 'Tis is not the season to be spontaneous.
The best way to keep the peace and still have a good time in the bedroom (or any room) is to consciously pencil in some sexy time and stick to it. This way you will have something to look forward to when the rest of your life is spinning in circles, which will bring you and your partner to the same page.
Consciously prioritise intimacy and communication over sex
Think of the Mercury Retrograde like a cellphone signal jammer. Your life is the cell phone and if you lose connection, you’ll just have to wait patiently for it to come back, not force it to work. Similarly, if and when this bad phase disrupts your sex life, you have to shift your focus to preserving your intimacy and communication channels instead of giving in to your lusty urges and emphasising the mere act of sex.
Keep sexting and phone sex to a minimum
You see, Mercury Retrograde impacts technology as well as communication (as we’ve learned above). So there is no better time for a digital detox. This means sexting and phone sex are both a bad idea right now. Instead, just do things in person (face-to-face or in whichever direction you prefer). This way, you can avoid misunderstandings and reassure your partner with some physical affection.
If you’ve entered Mercury Retrograde single, you should exit it the same way. While the notion that relationships (even the no-strings-attached kind of situation) started during this phase are doomed to fail isn’t always true, it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. Our judgement (in any aspect of our life) isn’t at its peak during this time and it’s best not to make big decisions. So, if you don’t have a ‘someone special’ right now, keep it that way until the retrograde passes. Your vibrator can come to your rescue for a few weeks.
Feature image credits: Netflix
Also read: What the first trip with your partner says about your relationship
Also read: Lessons that my string of unhealthy relationships taught me