#SaneGirlEra: How to recover from a situationship breakup

While it’s common for people to seek romantic connections for companionship and intimacy, many often feel unready to commit to a relationship. Sometimes, you may know that a relationship with a particular person won’t last, but your heart still yearns for them. Enter the situationship—a romantic connection without the commitment of traditional dating.  

These relationships are fluid, marked by uncertainty, and exist somewhere between friendship and romance, yet without clear boundaries or intentions. This lack of definition often leads to emotional turmoil, as individuals may invest deeply in a bond that lacks the security and understanding of a committed partnership. The absence of labels leaves both parties questioning each other’s feelings and the potential future of the connection.  

Recognising a situationship for what it is—an ephemeral stage rather than a lasting bond—can bring much-needed clarity. This understanding allows individuals to navigate their emotions with greater awareness, ultimately paving the way for healthier and more meaningful connections in the future.  

Here's how you can start moving on.

Experience every emotion you feel

Start with the basics: let yourself fully experience all the emotions that come with the end of a situationship—even if it’s sadness, anger, or confusion. They’re all part of the healing process. Take time to sit with your feelings. Write them down in a journal, or have an open conversation with someone you trust. This step is crucial for gaining clarity in your thoughts and emotions.  

Reflect on what happened

You likely have lingering questions: Why did it happen? Why didn’t it work out? Now is the time to reflect. Ask yourself: What did I want? How did I show up? Did I communicate my needs, or did I let things slide? Honest self-reflection will help you understand what went wrong and ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes in future relationships.  

Set boundaries

If you’re still in contact with this person, it’s time to establish clear boundaries. Whether emotional, physical, or both, these boundaries are essential for protecting your peace and giving yourself room to heal. This may mean cutting off communication entirely—at least temporarily. Staying in touch often keeps you emotionally stuck.  

Make self-care a priority

Self-care is not a luxury right now; it’s a necessity. Fill your days with activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and purpose. Whether it’s exercising, meditating, spending time with loved ones, or exploring hobbies, focus on rediscovering yourself and what makes you happy.  

Lean on your support system 

You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist for support. A therapist can help you navigate difficult emotions and situations, offering guidance and understanding. Sometimes, all it takes is a listening ear to help you gain a new perspective.  

Reclaim your independence

Situationships can blur the lines, making you lose sight of your own needs and goals. Now is the time to reclaim your independence. Focus on personal growth, whether it’s advancing your career, going on a solo trip, or working on yourself. Regaining your autonomy will help you heal and prepare for healthier relationships in the future.  

Let go of the fantasy

We all do it—imagining how things could have been. But it’s time to stop holding onto what might have been and accept what actually is. Let go of the illusion and embrace reality. The sooner you confront the truth, the sooner you can begin to move forward and welcome new opportunities.  

Be patient with yourself

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Allow yourself to let go at your own pace. Learn from the experience, and remember who you are outside of this connection. In time, you’ll emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for a relationship that truly aligns with your needs.  

Recovering from a situationship is about reclaiming your clarity, emotional strength, and self-worth. By moving forward with intention, you can create space for a healthier, more fulfilling connection in the future.  

Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Chumki Bose, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo readers find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.

Bose is a psychologist who focuses on marriage, relationships, family dynamics, personality disorders, trauma-related psychological issues, anxiety, depression, and existential crises.

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