Questions to ask a potential partner on the first date

Whether y’all matched on a dating app or were set up by a mutual friend or have been friends for a while, first dates are nerve-wracking. It’s almost like being on a double-sided job interview that may or may not end with a kiss. You hope, but you never know. Between these pre-date jitters, finding the outfit that toes the line between cute and sexy, and playing out every horrible scenario in our head, sometimes we forget to actually prep for the actual date.

In an ideal scenario, the conversation would flow organically. You’ll talk for hours until the restaurant finally asks y’all to leave. And then you’ll go for a walk and the night would end in a fireworks-worthy kiss. Unfortunately, this is not how it always goes. In fact, this is a one-in-a-hundred circumstance (we exaggerate for effect). Usually, a first date is riddled with random small talk and awkward pauses you cannot keep a count of.

To help you avoid the awkward silence rabbit hole, we’ve listed a few questions you can ask your potential partner on the first date. These are brilliant ice-breakers and will give you an idea of who they are and whether you will date them again. We recommend taking notes, you’ll thank us later.

Would you rather…?

‘Would you rather’ questions make for great ice-breakers. Don’t believe us? Try it out the next time you’re on a first date, quietly sipping your drink and marinating in awkward silence. They could be silly and goofy to deep and personal. For instance, would you rather get stuck in a haunted house or be lost in a jungle? Or would you rather eat noodles for the rest of your life or veggie burgers? Get as creative as you can with them. Their answers will not only get you shared laughs but also tell you if you two have a similar way of thinking. This will open the doors to having a real connection and isn’t that we’re all after? 

If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?

If you ask this question and their answer is ‘nowhere’ or something sappy like ‘I’m right where I was meant to be in this moment’, dine and dash. Okay, don’t do that but just know that you’re on a date with someone that’s gonna bore you to death if the relationship goes anywhere. However, if they reply with a whole string of destinations, you know you’re with someone who has a sense of adventure. You’ll find out what kinds of things excite them and whether you have any overlapping interests. Just let the conversation flow from there!

What’s your dream job?

While this may sound like a question most people answer on their dating profiles (rather blandly), it’s something that will get your potential partner talking about something they are passionate about. You’ll find out what motivates and inspires them. Even if they are still figuring themselves out and what they want to do in the future, it shows they have a purpose and aren’t just floundering about. That’s a major green flag right there. 

If you could pick a theme song to play any time you enter a room, what would it be?

Don’t dismiss this as a goofy question that won’t get you a serious answer. Even if they do laugh it off at first, their answer will tell you two things—how they view themselves and whether you two share a common music interest. The overall vibe, energy, and lyrics of the song will give you a little insight into their character and it doesn’t hurt to have a similar interest in music as your partner, does it? A 2006 study shows that music is one of the most common subjects acquaintances cover while getting to know one another and they can form accurate impressions about each other's personalities based on their music preferences. If nothing, you can at least get a good laugh out of this question. Maybe an inside joke that opens doors to more interesting conversations.

What's the wildest thing you've ever done?

Who doesn’t consider a sense of adventure to be an incredibly attractive trait in a potential partner? This question will tell you whether you’re on a date with someone adventurous and what they consider to be an adventure. At least, you’ll get one extremely interesting story out of this question that will propel the conversation and let you get to know the person a little better.