Meet the champions of self-love who show you how it's done

Self-love is the key to our existence; it's essential in every aspect of our lives. And these champions can teach us a thing or two about loving ourselves more, about acceptance and confidence. 

Laxmi Agarwal, Social Activist

“Self-love is our basic responsibility towards ourselves. After the acid attack, my life changed drastically...I lost most of my friends and family overnight. People would talk about me in hushed tones and mock me. It is then that I realised that the real acid existed in the minds of the people. Thanks to the unconditional love and support of my parents, I gradually marched on. Still coy, I covered my face wherever I went—even after a few years of my recovery. I discovered my passion for apparel designing and started nurturing this talent of mine. Through this simple act, I started my journey of healing and self-acceptance, which ultimately led to self-love. I will never forget the day I stood in front of the mirror for the very first time, without my face covered. That’s when I came face-to-face with the real me. 

Even though the world might be full of injustices and suffering, we must not be negative. Take inspiration from whatever life brings your way. This attitude helped me transform from the shy, reserved teen into the strong woman that I am today. Just be your fierce and bold self, unapologetically!” 

Raja Kumari, Singer and Songwriter

“Self-love should not be confused with being selfish. If I can’t love myself, I won’t be in a position to love anyone else either. No one else can come and fill that void and make you happy, and the more time I spend with myself, the better I am in all my relationships. The basic challenges I faced in my journey of self-love have been learning to accept myself, for not matching the standard norms of beauty, body, identity or race, and being able to realise that those things don’t define me. Instead, I realised that my spirit, compassion, and generosity are the qualities that are more important. I went through a very scary time, where I was depressed and realised I couldn’t name even five things I loved about myself when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t give up. I told myself that I loved myself and that I was beautiful, and by the 29th day, I really felt better. Hence, it is so important to value things like self-love and self-care. Focus on the things you love to do... as I do! If you have a hobby or passion, pour your love into it, because that’s where it truly belongs. Do not waste your time hating yourself. The more love you project, the more you attract it into your life. Invest time in yourself, it is the most important relationship of your life.” 

Kavita Sarmah, Writer 

 

“Loving oneself is the beginning of an abundance of inner peace; I think that is why it is such an integral part of life. To me, self-love is giving myself the freedom to exist as I am. Self-love does not mean that you have to reward yourself with the best that the material world has to offer; it just means to nourish yourself internally. There is always this unattainable idea of a ‘better you’, but looking for joy dependent on external, easily exhaustible resources is the route to unhappiness and confusion. As simple as it sounds, loving oneself can be a difficult thing to do. There is an avalanche of reasons, patterns, and trauma behind someone who does not feel love for themselves. My relationship with myself is that of a handmade wooden boat meant to explore an ocean. Life has come in big waves of scary confusion and soft sways of cooling comfort. And I am dearly in love with this grand feeling of living a life. You, dear reader, are a lovely little boat, too, and you are doing a great job at finding your way through the waves.”

Neelakshi Singh, Content Creator and Professor

“Not to generalise, but I’m not 100 per cent body positive (BoPo) all the time like everyone else. There are days when I feel horrid about the way I look, and BoPo is a constant state of mind that needs a lot of work. No matter what happens, no matter what you achieve, people will always look for perfection. Talking about physical appearances, once you step into the real world, all the social-media validation can be tossed aside at the expense of your self-esteem. 

There are certainly a lot of old-guarded exclusivities when it comes to both the fashion and beauty worlds. I love that we have started to have a dialogue about these in mainstream media. We need to overcome the fear of doing something different and not just rely on tokenism. We must make an honest effort at representing how diverse the world truly is. 

Self-care can sometimes feel like a distant dream, but everyone needs to find their own form of self-care. Mine comes from pampering myself (like buying an outfit that I fancy), or being able to squeeze in those 15 surya namaskars in my schedule. The biggest challenge that I have personally encountered is finding the ‘willingness’ to get there. It does take massive courage for you to be able to engage and absorb these activities, and it is only human to retreat once we encounter difficulties. To bring yourself back to where you started from and the willingness to keep going is terribly hard. The fact that you accept yourself and also the flaws that come with it...that, to me, is self-love. Don’t be afraid to be ordinary, is what I always say!” 

Monisha Ajgaonkar, Photographer 

“My relationship with myself has been a struggle. It has been quite a journey of finding out who I am, my identity and my personality. Starting from a difficult and troublesome childhood, lacking necessary love and attention, being overweight, and being extremely self-critical (growing up, I didn’t have any friends)... all this lead to constant self-doubt. Eventually, I evolved into a person who always needed someone around for support. I was very dependent on others...it was a vicious circle. But I’m grateful for these experiences, as through all these years of understanding, learning, and accepting, I have realised that taking care of yourself, doing the things that you love, constantly challenging oneself, and actively participating in activities you enjoy are some of the best ways you can exercise self-love. I realised the importance of self-love when I discovered and accepted my own sexuality, and stopped caring about what other people thought of it, including my own family. Loving yourself is the greatest satisfaction in the world—share the love with whoever needs it, but don’t dwell in the past, and forgive yourself for everything. Now, I constantly remind myself: good quality thoughts = self-love (self-care + self-worth). 

Glorious Luna (Suruj Rajkhowa), Drag Performer, Model, and Artist 

“My sense of self-worth and self-care comes from the love I have for myself. I don’t let anyone put me down. After being stuck in an abusive relationship for a while, I reached a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. That was my day of reckoning when I simply abandoned all fears, doubts and inhibitions. There have been several challenges that I have encountered in my journey of self-love, one of the biggest being unrealistic societal standards. But the toughest obstacle was overcoming my own limitations. For the most part, I believed that I shouldn’t dare to think beyond the wishes and expectations of other people. And that stopped me from doing a lot of things that I wanted to. But now that I have conquered those obstacles to a large extent, I am slowly making up for that lost time. We are our own liberators and saviours. Start now...better late than never.”