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How to turn a situationship into a real relationship

It’s not easy, but it’s worth a try.

Aug 6, 2024
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Are you in a relationship that is comfortable but undefined? Does it feel like it’s more than just a casual fling, but not exactly a committed relationship? You’re not alone. Everyone dreams of a fairytale romance with the perfect boyfriend and a happy, committed relationship. However, the reality of dating is far messier. You may feel like your situationship has all the hallmarks of a blossoming relationship—going on dates, spending time together, and perhaps even sleepovers—still the official label of “being in a relationship” remains elusive. 

While situationships can offer companionship and intimacy, they often leave us yearning for more. If you’re wondering if your situationship has the potential to blossom into a real relationship, here are some steps you can take.

Know what your partner wants

Before you jump to any conclusions, try and understand what your partner wants from the relationship. If you feel like the connection is deeper than it was at the beginning, feel free to discuss your feelings and explore where each of you stands. But remember not to directly ask them, “What do you want?” as it can put an overwhelming amount of pressure on them to define the relationship before they’re ready. So assess your situation and pose the questions gently. You may not get a straight answer; your partner might need some time, but at the least, you will have some clarity (remember physical cues can be more revealing than verbal ones). 

Discuss boundaries and make it official

Not everyone has the same experience in a situationship. If your partner is okay with seeing other people, you could consider having a conversation about defining boundaries and wanting to make it exclusive could be a gateway to a real relationship. Knowing that your partner is only interested in seeing you, is a comforting feeling, even if they’re not quite ready to commit to you just yet. Now this doesn’t mean you rush them into a formal relationship. However, you could see this as a potential to establish a mutual understanding and commitment to each other. 

Introduce them to your friends

It’s high time you put a face to the one you keep yapping about, in front of your friends! Introduce your partner to your friends. This is one way you could take your relationship to the next level by showing them that you want to get serious. 

Make time to see each other

Hang out more often—it’s one of the best ways to turn a situationship into a relationship. How can you become closer if you don’t see each other as often? You could indulge in activities that you both enjoy, whether it’s trying a new restaurant, going on a hike, or pursuing a shared hobby (for instance, going for a dance workshop together).

Be true to yourself

Before initiating any dialogue or taking any action, spend some time introspecting. What are your hopes and expectations for a relationship? Do your needs align with the dynamic you currently share with them? Throughout this process, remember to be true to yourself and your desires. While it’s important to understand your partner’s perspective, it’s equally important to stay true to what you want in a relationship.

While these steps can increase the chances of a situationship blossoming into a relationship, it’s important to remember that not all connections will follow the same path. And if, despite your efforts, the relationship doesn’t progress towards a formal commitment, you will have clarity about your situation and what you should do next.

Also Read: Here's how you know it's time to end a situationship

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