How to navigate a friendship with someone you had feelings for

Being friends with someone you had once had feelings for is a very delicate situation to be in. It’s a huge shift for anyone for their interest to shift from romantic to now being completely platonic. But it's not impossible to achieve. You won't be the first person to be friends with a person you once liked and won’t be the last. All you need is some patience, emotional maturity, and the intent to prioritise the friendship over any romantic feelings that’ll help you maintain a respectful and supportive relationship with them.

Here’s what you got to do, should you decide to remain friends with someone you once had feelings for. 

Acknowledge your feelings

One of the most important questions you need to ask yourself is if you still like them or have you moved on. It’s crucial to understand where you stand before deciding what’s to be done next. If you still happen to like them, that’s absolutely alright. Keep those feelings on the side and be honest with yourself about how it could affect the friendship. Take as much time to process these emotions before going straight back in and behaving like nothing ever happened. 

Have an open conversation with them

If you and your friend are cool about things, it may be good to talk to each other about your past feelings. Things don’t need to get too emotional so do your best to avoid the drama and just stick to how you feel. No matter how you feel (moved on or romantic), let them know about it. Even if the latter means that you have to take a step back, do it for the friendship. At no point must you send them mixed signals and make them think that you still like them when you’ve clearly told them the opposite. 

Remember how important the friendship is

Think about the reasons why you’re friends with this person and their importance in your life. Appreciate these qualities and focus on the present, and the future instead of being stuck up in the past and thinking about how things could have been. A change in mindset by shifting your perspective from romantic to platonic can help you see the bond that you share in a healthier way. 

Make new friends

You’re always going to be stuck in the past if you don’t meet new people and strengthen your social network. This will help you think less of them and see you spend your time and energy on yourself building new friendships. Do also take the time out to invest in your personal development and growth. Remember to stay patient with yourself as dealing with complex emotions and healing from them does take a lot of time. With every cloud having a silver lining, this is the time when you’ll learn how to understand your emotions. 

Be prepared for things to get tough

Even if you’ve moved on, there’s always a chance that those feelings come back. Things might change with time, and if maintaining a friendship with someone you had feelings for seems tougher than expected, re-evaluate the friendship if required. If it’s too much to handle, remember that not all friendships survive. If you have to end it, do it. At no point should your peace and mental well-being be affected. 

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Steps to heal and move on from your breakup

Also read: How to give yourself closure and heal after a breakup

Also read: Too broke for therapy? These mental health pages on IG will help keep you sane