How to maintain a healthy friendship when there's an income disparity

Maintaining a healthy friendship can be challenging when one person earns significantly more than the other. An income gap can lead to feelings of discomfort, jealousy, guilt, or even reduced interaction due to financial worries. However, true friendship—rooted in shared values, trust, and support—takes years to build and shouldn't falter over financial disparities.

Navigating this difference requires both parties to be mindful of each other's feelings, set boundaries, and find ways to spend time together that aren't dependent on money. 

Here are a few ways how you can do this. 

Have an open and honest communication with them

It’s important to discuss your feelings about the financial differences, as it’ll help avoid misunderstandings and clarify each other’s expectations, fostering empathy and respect in the friendship. Be clear about what and how much each of you can afford, as doing so prevents either side from feeling guilty or awkward later on. Do so in a calm and respectful manner. If one friend feels uncomfortable talking about it, remember to acknowledge their feelings and come up with a solution that doesn’t cause any tension between the two. If one friend can afford more expensive outings, alternate between higher-cost and lower-cost activities, making sure both friends feel comfortable and included.

Go beyond money

True friendship is built on trust, emotional support, and shared interests, with financial status being at the bottom of the list (or not even on it). This is where the two of you can focus on shared experiences, common interests, and low-cost activities that aren’t expensive, and on being there for each other—in good times and bad. Not everything needs to come with a price tag.

Do not compare

If they’re wealthier, stop comparing your financial situation to your friend’s, as it’s only going to make you feel bad, jealous, or inferior. If they’ve got less money, there’s no need to feel guilty. It’s important to avoid comparing one’s lifestyle, which is influenced by their finances, with one another. Recognise and realise that your friend’s lifestyle may be influenced by their income, and show empathy and avoid judgment when they make different choices due to their financial situation. Instead, channel your energy into the right things by focusing on what each of you brings to the table and what makes them unique.

Respect their financial boundaries

If the financial disparity affects what you two can do together, be extremely clear about what you can do and what you can afford without feeling pressured to spend beyond your limit. If you’re the richer of the two friends, do not pressure your friend to spend money they don’t have or do things they can’t afford. Respecting financial boundaries is essential for a healthy friendship.

Create memories, not expenses

Instead of giving them gifts on certain occasions, focus on meaningful, non-material gestures such as handwritten letters or homemade items that can convey more love than something expensive. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer is your time or help. These acts of kindness mean more than material possessions. If you’re looking to make plans together, do things that don’t involve money—catching up at home or going for a drive or a trek, to name a few.

Do not feel ashamed of your income

Whether it’s a lot or not, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or guilty about how much you earn compared to your friend. Feel proud of your accomplishments and how far you’ve come in life. Likewise, acknowledge and encourage your friend’s achievements, regardless of the financial aspect.

By implementing these strategies, the best of friends can maintain a long-lasting relationship despite there being an income disparity. What’s key is to prioritise the emotional bond and mutual respect over all things materialistic and to foster an environment where both people feel valued and understood.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: Signs you might need to end a (toxic) friendship

Also read: A complete guide to managing your finances better