How to convince your parents that it's time to retire

One of the most impressive things about my father’s work ethic is that he’s worked for the same organisation his entire life. Loyalty, for him, matters more than switching jobs. And it's not just him; I’ve seen this with most of my friends' and loved one's parents. It’s only now that we realise the hard work and effort they put in to ensure we had no reason to complain (some would even say we were spoilt and got more than what we deserved). Having said that, all good things must come to an end. And when you're doing well at your job, wanting your parents to retire is always at the back of your mind.

However, convincing your folks to retire can be a very touchy topic. Even more so if they’ve been working for a very long time and are emotionally attached to their workplace. It may be practical and financially feasible to do so, but it’s a significant life change for them. Even thinking about it might sound impossible for them, let alone doing it. Nonetheless, here are some steps that you can take to approach this conversation. 

Evaluate their situation

Before you can talk to them, take a good look at their health, financial situation, and how well they balance their work with their life. Are they in the best of health—physically and mentally? Is there a medical condition that’s making you think about speaking to them about their retirement? Moving on to their finances, do question if they have enough savings, pensions, and retirement plans that allow them to retire comfortably. Lastly, if they’re enjoying their work, it might not be the best for them to stop doing what they love. On the other hand, if you see them being stressed or burnt out, now would be a good time to approach the subject.

Be positive and supportive

Try to talk about the positives of retirement instead of focusing on the negatives of working. You could talk about how they’ll get the time to pursue new things—travel more, indulge in forgotten hobbies, or simply rest and spend time at home with their loved ones. Remember to be patient and respectful at all times while speaking to them. Changing a lifelong habit is difficult, and your parent/s might not be ready to retire right away. Avoid pushing too hard. It’s their decision, so give them the space and time to do so. Most importantly, be supportive of their choices, even if they decide to delay retirement for a while longer. Reassure them that you’ll be there to support them no matter what.

Working out the finances together

Start by reviewing their savings (policies, investments, etc) and other sources of income. Discuss what the expenses, post-retirement, will look like and check if they have enough money to cover it (or maybe you can start chipping in as well). 

Talk about what they’re most concerned about

Oftentimes people don’t want to retire because they’re worried and/or scared about how they will pass their time or the fact that they will miss out on what their work offered them (financially, socially, and emotionally), and of course, worries of staying financially stable. You can tackle this problem by offering them a few solutions. You could help them plan a few activities and suggest ways in which they can keep themselves occupied such as doing some part-time work, joining a club or social group, participating in community activities, volunteering, etc. 

Remember that it is a major life decision—one that they, not you, have to take for themselves. Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding as you offer practical advice and solutions that focus on the benefits. Lastly, address their concerns and ensure financial security that sees them transition into a healthy post-retirement life. 

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: How to deal with the anxiety of seeing your parents age

Also read: When is the right time to introduce your partner to your parents?