Growing up I've always been shy and awkward; I embarrass very easily, which is why going somewhere on my own, has always scared me, mostly because of the terrifying thought of being caught in an awkward moment with no resolute. But this, I figured is something I needed to work on. Because more than being embarrassed, I was afraid of missing out on good things, even if it meant doing them all by myself. So while going on a solo date was a terrifying thought, it was something I knew I wanted to do. Now I'm not talking about eating alone in a restaurant, I'm not ready for that just as yet. But catching a movie by myself didn't seem so bad—the lights are out, everyone's eyes are on the screen, or their partners, or their phones, no one could see me, so even if I made a fool of myself, I'd be the only one to know. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple.
I was having a regular Thursday—productive but comfortable—until I decided to step out for an event. In a rare fit of responsibility, I actually left early, only for Mumbai traffic to turn a quick trip into an hour-and-a-half nightmare. To make it worse, my grumpy cab driver dropped me at the wrong location after annoyingly suggesting I walk the rest of the way through a shady area. The event was well over by now and my en route felt like a complete waste of time. I was going through a whirlwind of emotions at that point—hangry, frustrated, and basically upset at having wasted a day. I'm not usually super productive all the time, but when I step out of the house, I prefer to have accomplished something, and so far, there was no feeling of accomplishment in this day. So to make up for it, I thought why not try salvage the evening with a solo movie date instead. I'd been thinking about it for a long time, and this seemed as good a time as any.
Now if you're anything like me, you can understand how dreadful buying a single movie ticket can be. But believe me when I say this: the process of getting into the movie hall—alone—while juggling your snacks and your phone, to find your seat in a theatre filled with couples and large friend groups—is far more daunting! The cherry on the top? I was in the wrong seat, and had somehow managed to drop (almost half) my popcorn in the seat next to me. My first instinct? Not even panic—I just sat patiently waiting for the lights to go out, planning to scoop it up later, until a couple popped in to tell me I was in their seat.
If this were a movie, I'd have my hands in the air, yelling at the universe for this cruel joke that was funny to no one. Instead reality forced me to just pick up the half-empty bucket of popcorn, apologise for the mess, and make my way to my seat with my dignity nearly tarnished. I say nearly because seconds later, the lid on my drink decided to pop off, spilling all over my hands and dress. Now, I was officially mortified, because I realised that a whole row of people behind me watched as I continued to make a fool of myself.
As I relived my night of horrors, I couldn’t help but feel like a chump who had the worst day of her life. I’ve never had the best luck, but I’ve surely not had it this bad. I felt like I was living out Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, except there was no “good day” to redeem it all. When I talked to my girlfriends about this, they laughed and joked about how it sounded like the plot of a rom-com, except in those, the protagonist usually ends up meeting her knight in shining armour or at least has her happy ending, just something significant to make it feel like the night wasn’t as awful after all. Well, newsflash ladies, there’s no knight in shining armour, let alone a happy ending, in real life. Here’s what I learnt: if you’re having a bad day, you just have to go through it and hopefully wake up to a morning free of disasters. It can’t be all bad after all!
So will I be giving my solo date another shot? Not anytime soon, for sure!
Lead image credit: Netflix
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