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How my solo date turned into a night of disaster

P.S. there is no knight in shining armour (or any happy ending).

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Growing up I've always been shy and awkward; I embarrass very easily, which is why going somewhere on my own, has always scared me, mostly because of the terrifying thought of being caught in an awkward moment with no resolute. But this, I figured is something I needed to work on. Because more than being embarrassed, I was afraid of missing out on good things, even if it meant doing them all by myself. So while going on a solo date was a terrifying thought, it was something I knew I wanted to do. Now I'm not talking about eating alone in a restaurant, I'm not ready for that just as yet. But catching a movie by myself didn't seem so bad—the lights are out, everyone's eyes are on the screen, or their partners, or their phones, no one could see me, so even if I made a fool of myself, I'd be the only one to know. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. 

I was having a regular Thursday—productive but comfortable—until I decided to step out for an event. As someone who’s always in a rush but hardly ever on time, I decided to be responsible and on time for a change. However, thanks to Mumbai traffic, a short 20-minute drive turned it into a frustrating hour-and-a-half ordeal, made worse by my grumpy cab driver who suggested I walk the rest of the way through a sketchy area. He ultimately dropped me off at the wrong location and refused to take me further. Given how late I was, (the event had most definitely wrapped up by then) I decided to salvage the evening with a solo movie date instead. I’ve been trying to find the time (and courage) to go for a solo movie date for a long time, and this seemed as good a time as any. 

 

A brief 10-minute walk later, I reached the theatre, booked my ticket—at a surprisingly reasonable rate—and grabbed a food coupon because how do you even watch a movie without (caramel) popcorn? After glaring at the sea of options—like I didn’t already know what I wanted—I ordered a single serving of “regular-sized” caramel popcorn. Let me tell you, there was nothing regular about the giant bucket of popcorn handed to me for a whopping price that was almost three times the cost of my ticket. Juggling my oversized snack and a tall glass of cold drink, I somehow managed to reach my seat before I noticed a couple sitting in what I thought was my seat. No big deal—it was an empty theatre, so I figured I’d just sit anywhere and made my way to the fifth seat in that row. 

As I sat down and placed my popcorn on the seat next to me, I watched in slow-motion horror as it tipped over and nearly half of it was emptied onto the seat. Surprisingly, my immediate thought wasn’t to scream, mostly because I planned to put it back once I was settled in. But my plan got interrupted when another couple showed up with tickets to seats that my popcorn and I had occupied. 

Embarrassed, I picked up the half-empty bucket of popcorn, apologised for the mess, and walked to the end of the row, struggling with my hands full and dignity pretty much tarnished. And just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, the lid on my drink decided to pop off, spilling all over my hands and dress. I was officially mortified once I realised that a whole row of people behind me watched as I continued to make a fool of myself. 

Once the lights dimmed and the trailers began, I finally relaxed a little, because now I was sure that no one could see me. So if there were any further disasters, it was only mine to witness. Unfortunately, fate had other plans because, after my popcorn and my cold drink, it was my bag that decided to be a hindrance. Despite keeping my bag tucked close to my feet, people walking in managed to trip on it—two of them nearly falling to their knees. Embarrassed I apologised and kept asking myself what I was even doing here. But once the movie began, I eased in and enjoyed a trip down memory lane as (a re-run) Wake Up Sid began to play. I somehow resonated with each and every character on-screen and began to feel a little better about my night of adventure (read: disaster). 

As the credits rolled in and the lights came on, I decided to make a run for it. Because even though the movie was a great experience, there was no need to stick around and remind anyone of my string of embarrassments. I also didn’t want to give fate another chance to make me make a fool of myself. As I made my way out of the theatre, I began to crave some junk food, or food in general, but thanks to a rainstorm that occurred while I was inside the theatre, most eateries had shut early, while another popular spot had closed for renovation. Cranky, hangry, and just done for the week, I booked a cab home—another overpriced venture—and consoled myself with some ice cream once I got home. 

 

As I relived my night of horrors, I couldn’t help but feel like a chump who had the worst day of her life. I’ve never had the best luck, but I’ve surely not had it this bad. I felt like I was living out Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, except there was no “good day” to redeem it all. When I talked to my girlfriends about this, they laughed and joked about how it sounded like the plot of a rom-com, except in those, the protagonist usually ends up meeting her knight in shining armour or at least has her happy ending, just something significant to make it feel like the night wasn’t as awful after all. Well, newsflash ladies, there’s no knight in shining armour, let alone a happy ending, in real life. Here’s what I learnt: if you’re having a bad day, you just have to go through it and hopefully wake up to a morning free of disasters. It can’t be all bad after all! 

So will I be giving my solo date another shot? Not anytime soon, for sure! 

Lead image credit: Netflix 

Also read: 10 women in their 30s give dating advice to those in their 20s

Also read: Here’s a no-fail exit plan to escape from a bad date

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