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Here is how you and your partner can have a simultaneous orgasm

It's elusive but not impossible.

May 12, 2024
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Once you’ve been with someone for a while, your sexy time has a more or less set routine. You start with a little make-out session to set the tone, which leads to foreplay and finally ends in you getting into one of your top three perfected positions and pounding it out. While having a routine is amazing most of the time—because you can rely on it to yield desirable results, sometimes you have to mix it up and explore new things. And today, we are going to be talking about a very exciting thing that you can try out in the bedroom—simultaneous orgasms. 

In the world of sexual pleasure, a simultaneous orgasm is considered to be a very elusive concept. And with good reason, it requires a lot of factors to line up in order to make it happen. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible or that having a simultaneous orgasm is a sex myth. It can be done. 

If you don’t know where to start, we’ve listed down a few tips you can use in your quest to achieve a simultaneous orgasm. 

The key is communication  

If you’re aiming at orgasming alongside your partner, you need a clear channel of communication. Think about this—your partner tells you they are close to a climax but you’re not, you need to tell them to pace themselves or do something that will stimulate you more, allowing you both to be in sync. Don’t be afraid to speak up and remember that your partner can’t read your mind. No matter how wrapped up you are in the throes of passion, you have to tell them how close or far you are from the goal.  

Help yourself   

If your penetrating partner tells you they are close when you are not, there is no harm in stepping on the accelerator yourself. If you are in a position where you can stimulate yourself, use your fingers on your C-spot or bring a vibrator into the mix. This will bring you up to their level and you can experience the elusive simultaneous orgasm!

Pace yourself 

Aiming for a simultaneous orgasm is not about who gets there first. It’s about ensuring both of you are at the same level, especially when you're almost there. Try taking things slow from the foreplay stage and build it up gradually. Relish the moment instead of just going at it. 

And if you are about to climax but your partner isn’t, pace yourself. Tell them to slow down, switch positions or practice deep breathing to calm yourself. Edge yourself slightly because you know it'll be worth every effort when you and your partner finish together.

Have realistic expectations   

More often than not, simultaneous orgasms are a surprise. No matter how much you plan and strategise, it will happen rarely. It’s not impossible but it takes practice, near-perfect communication, and timing to get this right. But don’t let the fact that you couldn’t achieve this goal bring you down. Manage your expectations, learn from every effort, and try again. You will accomplish your goal eventually. 

Don’t overthink it  

When it comes to any sexual goal, this is a good piece of advice to follow. If you put too much pressure on the fact that you and your partner have to finish simultaneously, you forget to enjoy the experience. Sex should not feel like work. So, if it’s getting difficult to sync with your partner in bed, just go at your own pace. Focus on being present in that moment and just have fun.  

Feature image: Pexels 

Also read: 5 toe-curling BDSM techniques to try if you’re a complete beginner

Also read: What is the butterfly sex position and how you can master it

 

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