The green flags to look out for in a new relationship

From narcissism to controlling behaviour, red flags in a romantic relationship are fairly easy to detect. And once you do, make a run for it! But, what if all’s good in the hood? Your chemistry is palpable, connection is genuine, and you may actually *really* like this person. Dr Chandni Tugnait, life coach and relationship expert at Tinder, elucidates the telltale signs, or green flags, that can hint at where things are headed in your relationship. 

It’s the effort that counts

They’re interested—they’re interested in you, your personality, and are making an effort to understand your quirks, likes, dislikes, and so on. “Prioritising a partner is a green flag for 65 per cent* of young Indian adults. Even if it sounds like they’re taking cues for conversation from your bio, it's a telling sign,” says Dr Tugnait.

You are a priority

You come first and are certainly not an afterthought. They make you feel special and give you the attention you rightfully deserve. The biggest green flag for 68 per cent* of young Indian adults is when their partner clearly voices their feelings for them.

They value your opinion

Your special someone wants to know everything about you, and want to be able to share themselves, too. They ask for your opinion when deliberating the cuisine for date night, and pick a movie based on your genre preferences. “This is a sign of consideration and respect which must be reciprocated, lending to building the foundation of a healthy partnership,” Dr Tugnait adds.

They respect and discuss boundaries

Establishing and respecting boundaries is key for any healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise. If your partner respects your boundaries, it's a sign that they respect you as a person. Some green flag-friendly phrases around boundaries include, “What works for you?”, “Does this make you comfortable?” and “Is it ok if I do this?” For 50 per cent* of young Indian adults, a major green flag is when their partner discusses boundaries, which not only helps define their needs but also paves the way for clear communication regarding one’s own boundaries.

They are vulnerable

If they let their guard down when they're around you, and make an effort to allow you into their personal space—both physically and emotionally—things are looking up. “Being vulnerable is powerful because it not only opens up the possibility of being rejected for your true self but also for being deeply understood and loved for your real self,” explains Dr Tugnait. You should be waving this green flag high, like the other 41 per cent* of young Indian adults.

Some other green flags include making an effort to stay in touch between each date, being fair with the money spent on dates, speaking about the former flames with consideration, and being respectful in case of a disagreement.

*Research conducted by YouGov: a survey of 1,018 Indian young adults (18-30) across Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Pune, Kolkata, Chennai, and Hyderabad.