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Everything you need to know about hair pulling during sex

Take matters (hair) into your hands and grasp (don't tug) it.

Nov 27, 2024
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You might think that the simplest of things wouldn't need much explaining. Take rough sex, for instance—hair-pulling seems pretty straightforward right? If you thought it wasn’t a kink, think again. It can feel physically, mentally and emotionally arousing because of the many nerve endings in the scalp that are stimulated. However, if not done right, it can be quite unpleasant. So, whether you're a seasoned pro or just curious, understanding the right technique can make all the difference.

Here's everything you need to know to pull it off! 


Before you start

The first and most important rule when it comes to any sexual activity is consent. Be it biting, scratching, spanking, or having your hair pulled, not everyone’s into it. So don’t assume and talk things out with your partner in a non-sexual setting so they won't feel obligated to do it. Additionally, you’ll get to spend time discussing who’s going to do it, how much pulling is too much pulling, what they like and dislike about the act, etc. Try to keep your expectations in check as there’s a good chance they might say no (which is completely okay). If they’re down to get dirty, come up with a safe word or non-verbal cue that tells both of you when to stop, so things don't get out of hand. 

Grasp don't tug 


What you certainly shouldn’t do is attempt random tugs on ponytails. Go slow and avoid techniques that put sudden or intense pressure on the neck. Weave your fingers near the root of their hair before closing your fist to pull. Remember to do it slowly and pay close attention to how they react. For those who want more hair to be involved, you can wrap their braid/ponytail around your wrist before pulling it at the base. Another option is to scrunch their loose hair before grasping the roots of their hair through the bunched bit. Pulling hair from behind the ears is super hot if you're doing it from your partner's side. It’s kinky for couples who are into power play and BDSM as it can reinforce an existing power dynamic. 

As far as the timing is concerned, the best time to pull your partner’s hair is when they’re already aroused. The endorphins released when we’re turned on reduce the sensation of pain as well as experience it as pleasure (why explains why many are into biting, spanking, and BDSM). 

Best positions for hair pulling 

Maintaining eye contact while having sex is hot AF and hair pulling when looking deeply into each other’s eyes during missionary sex takes this experience to a whole new level. Partners could also incorporate hair pulling in the doggy position. For some, it’s really hot to have their hair pulled from behind and have their partner whisper sweet nothings or take things up a notch with some dirty talk. Just remember to not go in too hard (we’re talking about the hair pulling).

Lead image: Netflix  

Also read: How to enjoy a spanking session with your partner

Also read: How you can introduce BDSM in the bedroom

Also read: How to increase sexual intimacy in your relationship

Read more!

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