Are your poor dating choices affecting your self-esteem?

We’ll be the first ones to admit that modern dating is difficult. Because let’s be honest, with terms like situationship, love bombing, breadcrumbing, and more, dating can feel exhausting and complicated. We’ve all had our fair share of bad dating experiences or know someone whose dating life feels like a never-ending soap opera filled with drama, questionable choices, and endless ‘what-if’ questions. The result? These choices act as a mirror for our insecurities and can impact our mental health, leaving us feeling lost and underconfident, and occasionally questioning our worth. If you can relate to this feeling then buckle up for some truth bombing. Here’s how you know your bad dating choices are affecting your self-esteem, and how to break out of it. 

Similar toxic patterns in dating 

We know that opposite attracts but compatibility is what lasts. We rarely ever fall for someone because of their positive qualities. Rather, it is their negative traits that draw us toward them, mostly because of how well they align with our own insecurities. So the first question that you should ask yourself is what are the qualities that drive you crazy? Where do you draw the line? Understanding what your limits are when it comes to a relationship helps you recognise a pattern and figure out how to break the toxic cycle. 

You have trouble setting boundaries 

Boundaries help you create a safe and healthy space to connect with your partner, without room for toxicity. For instance, if you’re someone who has trouble saying ‘no’ to people, it allows them to deny your personal boundaries, take advantage of you and take you for granted. Creating positive boundaries is not about pushing people away, but rather only letting the right ones in. 

You have a poor outlook on the future

Oftentimes we’re so busy anticipating the future that we forget to enjoy the present. If you keep thinking about the future, especially from a cynical perspective, you end up developing negative self-esteem that will eventually impact all your relationships. So how do you break out of it? Maintain a positive mindset, set clear boundaries, and try to live in the moment.

You tend to jump to conclusions

We’ve all had our he/she’s ‘the one’ moment at least once in our lives only to have our hearts and expectations shattered. That’s the reality of dating. And it happens when you have limited information about someone. It’s easy to interpret one late reply as disinterest and one casual touch as attraction. These misjudgments lead us to ignore red flags eventually ending up with a broken heart and a negative outlook on dating and our future. The best way to tackle it is to take things slow and simply enjoy the getting-to-know-each-other phase.

You feel the need to mask your real self

We all feel like we need to put our best foot forward in all walks of life. When it comes to dating, the need to mask your real self and be someone else is not only exhausting but can also increase feelings of insecurity hampering your efforts to build a genuine connection. Moreover, you could also end up with a partner that you’re not really compatible with, which can lead to a poor relationship and eventual heartbreak. So don’t be shy. Just be your authentic self and the right one will accept you for exactly who you are. 

Lead image credit: Netflix

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