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5 non-sexual ways to build intimacy with your partner

There’s more to intimacy than just sex.

By Taronish Batty
Nov 21, 2022
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Jermaine Stewart, an R&B sensation, told the world in 1986 that “we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time, oh no.” Rather, he encouraged everyone to “dance and party all night, and drink some cherry wine, a-ha.”I  agree with Stewart that intimacy can take many forms, and not all of it has to be sexual in nature. For most people, sex is an essential component of their relationship, but that's not all. In fact, isn’t sex often, more about intimacy and not physical pleasure alone? Having said that, non-sexual intimacy can, but does not always have to lead to sex. And when you are canoodling, unlocking a whole new level of intimacy can make it even more meaningful and exciting. These emotionally charged activities may simply be the key to taking your relationship to the next level! 

Here are a few non-sexual ways to enhance intimacy in your relationship.

Words of affirmation


Making love confessions to your partner doesn't require you to quote Shakespeare. A few simple affirmations will do! Random texts like “So proud of you” or “Thinking of you” sent to your partner while they're at work will leave them looking at their phone all day and, more importantly, will make them feel appreciated. Sometimes, when we are down in the dumps, a few words of motivation from a loved one can mean so much. Similarly, just reassuring them of your affection, every once in a while will only keep them feeling happy and secure. 

Planning one date night a week


It is so important to intentionally set aside time for you and your partner. Plan at least one date every week! It is crucial to set aside a date each week for the two of you so you can amidst your hectic schedule, relax and reconnect, whether you choose to go out or stay in. It doesn’t have to be a wine-and-dine every week. A quick trip to the grocery store, a movie night, a day of lazying around in your PJs—these are all very good date ideas. 

Take naps together


If you ask me, I think the thing I need the most right now is a good afternoon nap. My editor won’t approve, but a girl can dream (with open eyes, unfortunately!) So on a weekend, after your work week potently vacuumed all energy out of your system, napping together seems ideal. Additionally, while you nap with your partner, oxytocin, a hormone known as the "love hormone" that promotes sleep, is scientifically proven to be released. Who knew you could sleep through increasing your intimacy levels?

Pick an activity to do together


One's interest can be piqued by a wide variety of things. Whether it's participating in sports, exercising, engaging in leisure activities outdoors, or even something as simple as going grocery shopping together (which like I said earlier, totally passes as a date!) The idea of doing something together is so basic but essential. By engaging in activities you both enjoy, you'll be more likely to do them frequently and enjoy your time together. Here’s to building some core memories!

Talk philosophy 


This one may sound unconventional but hear us out. Sharing our most personal thoughts and philosophies with others can be exhilarating and inspiring. Intellectual exploration stimulates our senses in a similar way to physical activity. Stick to fleeting and broad topics, like “the nature of consciousness,” or contrast the various schools of thought to turn geeking out into a personal experience. This can cultivate a special intellectual intimacy and serve as a bonding experience.

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